My Weekend Encounter with God
Word Count 933
October 20, 2004
Friday night going up to the camp, the four of us were rather quite. We didn't know each other. We were wondering what is the weekend going to bring?
That evening I had an overview of the sessions. Found out who my facilator is going to be. So after our small group meeting, I returned to the chapel.
Sherrie showed a clip from the movie, “The Crossing.” The two things that caught my attention was when Larry was showing Matthew around and he went into the room called “Records.” Here they were taking down each sin and cataloged it. So the guy started to print out Matthew’s record of sins. I can still see the printout running. Then Matthew went into the Court room. Law was sitting in judgment. “The wages of sin is death.”
As Matthew fled from the building, the scene switched to the crucifixion of Jesus. Matthew was one of the Roman soldiers driving the nail into His hand.
The final clip was a cross with Matthew’s printout of sin nailed to the cross. As the blood of Jesus was shed, the printout became white paper. Jesus paid the price.
Saturday I saw a clip from the Passion. Then I saw a wooden cross and hammers and nails in front of me. I finally got up and knelt down and my heart broke for what He had done for me. As I began to hammer the nail, didn’t go in, but slid across the floor. Satan whispered to me, “See, you can’t even drive a nail. You will never be accepted but will always be abandoned!” Satan knows that abandonment is an issue with me. In my mind I yelled back at him, “I’m not going to believe that lie no more. Go take a hike.” I could hear him quickly departing! So then I faced the second cross. I was sitting back some. The Lord gently whispered to me, “You can move up closer. It’s safe.” As I did, I felt a little more comfortable. Still have a ways to go in being able to accept the Father’s love.
In the small groups I went over my profile sheet. This is where more healing took place for me. It was made clear, that I only needed to share what I felt the Lord wanted me to share. As I began the process in the area of forgiving those who had hurt me, healing began…Then I processed “Cutting the root and pulling down the bad fruit.” Chains of bondage were broken because of His truth.
Finally, Sat. night, I gather around the campfire. Reverently and quietly, I place my papers in the fire. I saw my sinful past go up in flames. He turned those ashes into beauty and joy! Afterwards was a time of CELEBRATION! Sunday is coming.
Sunday morning in the chapel there was a hushed reverential feeling. We all felt the presence of the Holy Spirit. I listened to the explanation given of the filling of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Sprit would meet me where I am at spiritually. He is not going to change my personality. He is not a negative person. I hadn’t been taught much on the Holy Spirit. So I set back and watched as a couple of girls went up front. Nothing “un-usual” happened.
I remember hearing one of the ladies say, “I feel so good. I want to love someone!” Another lady turned around and received a HUG! Finally I felt the Holy Spirit gently tugging on my heart to go forward. I did. Still apprehensive, but as I was being anointed I felt a peacefulness beginning to descend up on me and all around me. He is very gentle, and very tranquil. This gives me a solid sense of belonging, now. I know He will never leave me. It’s finding security being held in His arms. When I can’t explain, He understands and knows how to pray for me. He is a gentleman and waits to be asked. When asked, He will answer.
Sunday morning I met with the others for our worship service and communion. Communion even means more to me, now. It’s more personal. I don’t want to forget what it cost Him. It comforts me in knowing that only Jesus understands what is going on in my life. He understands, the physical pain, he understands what it is to be abandoned, to be rejected, to be mis-understood. He knows the pain of false guilt and accusation. Yet through His blood, there is total forgiveness, and there is total acceptance.
Now it’s time to pack up and return to Cornerstone. I can feel an undercurrent exceeding 220 of excitement and eagerness to return. To share what great things the Lord is beginning to do from this weekend.
I think Darlene was the first to hug me Sunday afternoon. I wanted to express my thankfulness to her and the others who spent time praying for me. Words aren’t adequate enough. I did feel the love and the prayer support. Encounters are not for sissies. It has to come from a hearing ear, an open mind and a willing heart. This is how I prayed the two weeks before
As I got back into the car, what a difference! It began with playing praise and worship music instead of country….We chattered all the way back to church!