Kids & Parenting
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The speaker was dynamic, and the crowd cheered. Foam oozed out of the pumpkin face and onto the table in one mad, crazy rush. What on earth?
I guess when you pour Dawn dish soap and peroxide into a hollowed pumpkin without mixing it, there's an immediate, volcanic eruption. But when you take the same mixture and stir it up evenly, patiently, it oozes to the top, hardens, and remains intact even when you tip the cup upside down.
But you have to stir it up, and wait.
Nothing good comes by rushing. The child won't be raised in one breath, but rather in many days of loving. The moments of love add up slowly with the years, which make nights of Bible reading with everyone in their footie pajamas not a thing to pass by and rush around, but something to cherish and make happen.
Talk with your kids at night when you'd rather send them to bed.
Ask them about their hearts in the morning. Check in often.
Encourage them not to hide away with things that trouble them-- even if it means talking with another trusted adult. And even if it's about YOU. Give them liberty to ask for help if they are frustrated with something at home that's not changing, and they've already talked with you about it.
If you have nothing to hide, neither do they. Show them patience and humility, and they will probably respect you so much they will have no desire to go elsewhere.
I remember the morning I paused the rush to discuss life with the kids. The kitchen was a mess and an entire morning of school was ahead of us, but they crowded around. This was the morning I spoke to them about frustrated teens, and not holding things in when they feel about to pop their top. �Talk with us, your parents, and if things don't change, feel free to talk with your youth leader or pastor.�
They absorbed it. �Mama would rather be uncomfortable than have me live with hidden frustrations. Mama is willing to go through embarrassment for my sake. My heart is more important than mama's reputation.�
These are the moments, and they can happen anywhere. You need not book tickets to a parenting conference for times like this; you do need to seize the moment when it's ripe. Parenting is more about seizing moments in time, than about waiting for time. More about looking into your child's eyes for that open door, than about pushing through the closed wall because you never came in when they did have it open.
I walked away to the bathroom and shut the door. My eleven year old son followed me and called in through the wood, �Mama, have you been reading, 'If Jesus Was a Parent?'"
�Yes, son, I have been.� My sister gave me the book, the sister who has some of the most radiant kids I know. The sister who talks, engages, spends time, and requires obedience all in one fantastic model of parenting. She parents like Jesus parents her, and I want to parent like Jesus parents me.
We need to put truth in a child's heart rather than on his heart. What makes your child tender toward you? When your child knows his heart comes before your comfort, you will pave a road right inside his soul that you can use to travel into his heart when the need rises.
Teen years are formed most before double digits ever appear beside your child's name.
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