God promised to your father, Abraham, a miraculously born child
It was not of you though, that promise, for you were born to be wild
Born of a Bond Woman, a barren wifeís command
Banished to the desert, again at her demand
Your mother wept, awaiting the deserts curse
Godís love was a well that satisfied your thirst
An Angel of the Lord foretold to your mother
Your seed would multiply, at enmity with your brother
Do you still rage over the injustice of your exile?
Do you hate your brother, The Promised Child?
Ishmael, will fighting win the legitimacy you crave?
Is justice waiting in a murdererís early grave?
Will bombs establish Covenant with God the Father?
After the destruction, still the Covenant imposter?
Cannot be won by the most suicidal warrior
Cannot be gained by the most brutal horror
Can be possessed regardless of birth or race
Freely conferred, Godís justice by grace
New Covenant, not signed by circumcision
Legitimacy by adoption, final redemption
New Covenant's seal, blood sacrifice on a cross
Ishmael, our battles have all been fought.
I was blown away by this piece! You combine history, lament, probing questions and the ultimate answer, full of hope! I have very little problem with the flow of this piece. It could almost be set to music in a scene of a biblical musical! An excellent write!
I enjoyed your poem. I'm
a poet myself.
It is important to keep your lines short and concise and to the point.
Many of your lines are longer than others and it
throws the flow off. I have many poems with the same problem. I actually posted one on Faithwriters a few days ago. " Written In Blood"
Another thing to remember is poetry is all about imagery. Painting a picture without giving it away.
Make your readers guess what your talking about.