Saturday 5/01/04 32
If I remember correctly it was about three in the morning that day when this all started.
I was awakened by what sounded like an explosion and I got up and looked out my window only to see that all was well.
I was somewhat confused because I knew that I heard something,I went to get a drink of water and I heard it again.
And this time I knew that I heard something so I once again looked out my window.
Once again I saw nothing and thought, oh well and went back to bed.
Later I awakened all refreshed and ready for the day, and this was my day off so I had planed to relax.
Then I heard a commotion and thought that everyone else must be up and around,I didnít think too much on this and got around and got dressed.
When I went to the front room no one was there, I thought ok they just thought I was asleep.
Iíll just talk to them tonight, now itís time for a glass of milk and the morning news.
Then I heard more commotion and looked outside to see a police car driving by.
I thought this was somewhat odd.
Well I had my milk in one hand and the remote in the other and on the television went.
I froze and listened to the newscaster and was shocked at what I was hearing and seeing.
They talked about car accidents and planes going down and buses and trucks running off the roads.
People frantically searching for their loved ones and then I heard those words.
Some say that Christ has returned.
My mind raced back years as I remembered when I was a young child sitting in Church.
Our Pastor was finishing the service when he asked if anyone wished to accept Jesus into his or her heart.
I was sitting behind my uncle when he turned to me and talked to me oh so sweet.
I could not recall exactly what my uncle said to me but the love that flowed from him was unexplainable.
The next thing I know I am walking up front and I accepted Jesus into my heart and later I was baptized in water.
I remembered going to Sunday school and vacation Bible school and Church Christmas plays and cook outs.
I remembered many services when I heard yes one day Jesus would return so always be prepared.
Then I remembered one day when I just didnít want to go to Church and that many times I felt convicted of this.
I thought back on the time when I was at a nightclub and I was just sitting there and I saw myself in Church.
I even remembered the name of the guy who last witnessed to me and then I walked outside to see all or our vehicles in the drive.
I dropped my glass of milk and tossed the remote and ran back into the house and I called out each name but no one answered.
I checked all the rooms and even ran back outside and I checked everywhere and then went back inside to gather my thoughts.
I thought of just last Sunday when I was asked to come with them to Church.
I declined and sat in front of the television until they got home and I stood there thinking of the tugging at my heart that I had been feeling.
And even that was now gone and it seemed that my family was as well.
Then I heard something from the television that caught my attention.
I heard, all I found were their clothes and I remained motionless.
I started to go check but stopped myself.
What if I found what I didnít want to see?
What if their clothes were all that I found?
I had already checked the rooms but what if I just overlooked yes just like I overlooked the truth I had been told about this day.
I felt empty inside and my stomach was in knots. I then just sat down and cried because I just knew what I would find.
I spotted my childís Bible and reached down to pick it up and out fell a picture that was drawn for me.
There I was right beside the rest of the family at Church and below is what looked like my child in bed dreaming a dream.
And just two simple words.
I knew exactly what this was saying but that someday did not arrive only because I refused to go with them.
I opened up the Bible and read the name and from Daddy and Mommy.
I held it up to my face and just cried and cried.
I wanted to ask why but I knew why.
I looked up at the picture of us on the walls and I looked at each piece of furniture and at everyone's favorite place to sit or lay.
I thought back on the trip to the zoo and I remembered telling them that that next time we would leave earlier to make sure that we wouldnít miss anything.
Miss anything yes I definitely missed.
Then I remembered what I had said just the night before.
I told them ok hereís the deal as long as Christ does not return before Sunday I would go to Church with them.
And as I was thinking wrong choice of words I remembered being told to watch what I say.
I finally started towards to first bedroom and as I was walking down the hallway I remembered the laughs and the running back and forth from the front room to the bedroom.
I stopped to rub my hand on the wall that we measured our children on as they grew taller and I read each name and the tears just fell.
I stopped at the doorway, this was our bedroom.
I thought back to a morning as I heard hey itís time to get up and go today we are going on a road trip.
Then ok kids your turn and I was pounced and we all just laughed and were having a blast.
I didnít want to go any further because I knew what I would find.
I finally stepped forward and stopped at the foot of the bed I then went to their side and lifted the covers.
I fell to the ground and just lost it and I sat there for a while just crying and remembering.
After a while I reached up and grabbed their nightclothes and held them and remembered and cried some more.
I was there for a long time and I was fighting the fact that I still needed to look in my childrenís room.
I sat there crying remembering our wedding day and our first baby and I thought to myself.
Why did I not listen?
Why did I wait so long?
I looked up at the clock and it was almost one oíclock in the afternoon already I then finally got up and walked into my childrenís room.
I once again stopped at the doorway then walked up to the foot of the beds.
Yes this time I had two to look into.
I stood there and remembered many nights when I would stand there and watch them sleeping and I would even watch them breathe and even place my hand on their back or stomach just to feel the gentle love from my children.
Then I would oh so gently kiss them on the cheek and whisper in their ears I love you so much.
I reached down and pulled back both covers at the same time and yes I found nothing but nightclothes.
I once again fell to the floor in pain, pain from the emptiness and I sat there looking around at their toys and the puzzles hanging on the walls.
I took two stuffed animals the favorite of each child and I held them.
I then laid my head on one of the beds and just stayed there for what seemed hours.
They are all gone; yes they went Home with Jesus.
The next day I hesitated getting up and around knowing what would await me.
I lay there in bed and remembered and cried for awhile and then got up and dressed and went outside.
What I saw outside was many with what was probably the same look I had on my face.
Some sat on their front lawn holding a ball glove and a few I saw sitting in their childís swing or next to a bike.
I saw husbands and wives holding on to clothes that I knew their spouses wore and there were some holding wedding rings and necklaces.
One was sitting inside their car listening to a Veggie Tales CD and another was sitting inside the door holding onto and crying into a babyís car seat.
I saw one couple walking hand and hand just looking around and saying not one word.
It was eerie and empty.
So many of us missed the chance to go and we have no one to blame except ourselves yes no one to tell an excuse to.
Or to say to them next time I will go because this was it, yes the day had arrived and here I am.
Yes here I am standing outside looking around for something that Iíll never see again.
I turned to walk back inside the house when I noticed someone coming my way.
We talked and shared then decide to talk later and now here I am sharing my story with everyone here.
Thank you all for allowing me to share.
No one knows for sure the exact time when Christ will return but we do know that one day He will return.
Our Pastor has stated that when we leave this earth we will go so fast we will cause a sonic boom.
Now pastor also states that no one knows for sure how we will be taken when Christ returns itís just something to think about.
In this story there are a few things that relate directly to my life.
The part about the uncle thatís how I first accepted Christ and yes my uncle was who talked to me with such love and peace my Uncle Floyd.
Sunday school and vacation Bible school and Christmas plays and cookouts.
Yes even the nightclub part I would actually see myself in Church I am beginning to remember less and less about that life I WAS living though.
The wall with the measurements, the favorite stuffed animals they have their favorites and watching my baby girls sleep.
But I pray over them, then I will whisper to them that we all love them very much and most importantly God loves them very much and I say more.
But I will not be back here remembering all this because I was left behind.
No I will go Home when the time arrives.
Many continue to wait and many just refuse to accept and sadly many think they would rather stay back.
The truth is we have all the knowledge and opportunities needed to be one hundred percent sure that we will go Home to Heaven when our time arrives to go.
Play time is long over and waiting is no longer an option so listen to your heart and if nothing else ask yourself what changes you need to make.
Then ask God to help you make those changes.
Point is when Jesus returns are you going to be in Heaven rejoicing or back here
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