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When He Doesn't Understand Your Pain
by Katrena Kilpatrick
08/30/04
Not For Sale
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I know too well how intangible things can cut you like a knife. The constant pain of misunderstandings and maltreatment can turn a marriage inside out. It is this kind of pain that will make you see what your commitment is really made of. Can it withstand the wiles of the enemy?

I had to ask myself that question several times when I was faced with the temptations of bitterness and unforgiveness. Ephesians 6:12 became one of my strength building scriptures. "For we do not war against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."

There were times when I did not understand my husband and times he did not understand me either. With the help of God, we are still holding on. Not just merely making it. We are accepting our differences and finding joy after a dark season. The Bible tells us to seek Him first and he will add everything else we need and want into our lives. We have to trust and obey Him. It's fine to praise God when things are going great. But we cannot forget to praise Him through the bad times that come into our lives. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

When your spouse doesn't understand your pain, pray about it before you even take it to anyone else. Even before you discuss the issue with your spouse, let God hear it through your prayers. He is powerful enough to intercede in that person's thoughts and smooth out the rough edges before you even open your mouth. Don't get mad about it, pray about it. When you say I'll fix him/her, fix them right. Go to God on them.When your spouse doesn't understand your pain, yelling and sleeping on the couch will not fix it. Running to friends and family only rehashes the drama and prolongs its reign. Pray for communication and understanding when your spouse doesn't know how bad you are hurting inside. Ask God to reveal things to you, so you won't have to fret over them. The Bible tells us to "be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known to God." (Philippians 4:6)

Don't argue over differences constantly. It is those differences that brought the two of you together. Pick your battles. There is a time to speak up just like there is a time to shut up. On several occasions, I have had to ask God to give me some shut-up grace. That's part of what marriage is all about, knowing when to sacrifice and when to lead the way. Most importantly, put God in your marriage.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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