I've been going to church a lot and trying to keep up with it. God has brought up several old memories that's made me want to relive some of the most positive moments of my life and going to church is one of them. I feel like His therapy's working, because lately, He's been guiding me to do things that will help keep my depression away. It's difficult trying to balance out my life, struggling with loneliness and other mental and emotional issues. These things can't be fixed with drugs, especially when I know my chemical imbalance was due to experience, not by the fault of nature. God tells me it's all about learning to counteract bad memories with good ones that will cause joy to swallow up the sadness and hurt. And so far, it's worked- that's only whenever I remember to do it, of course.
I've only tried medication to help me through my mental and emotional anguish during a period of my adolescence and it just made things worse, including my nightmares. Since then, I told myself I would never do it again. It's like what God told me in a dream- you can't put a band aide on a broken heart and you can't put ointments on wounds that go deeper than the marrow of your bones. Injuries caused by trauma is best healed through counseling, and putting those words of counsel into practice is the wisest thing a man will ever do for their broken spirit. So, I've been consuming bad memories with good ones and today, I wanted to share a few of my favorites with you.
My most favorite season of all time is the Fall and my most favorite month, October. I remember when I was a kid, I used get so excited every year because my mom used to take me to many kinds of fall activities that I truly enjoyed doing, more so than all the other seasons. I enjoyed the haunted hayrides, picking out the perfect pumpkin at the pumpkin patch, going shopping for autumn decorations and displays for the house and going to October events, such as fall festivals.
I even enjoyed the smell of pumpkin pie that my mom used to make out of the pumpkin I picked out, (though I never ate it since I disliked pies and other treats like that). She would help me carve and decorate the empty pumpkin and afterward, put a candle inside of it. And every time she lit it, I could swear I was also able to feel a light being lit within me too. I used to love the smell of dinner escaping out of a cracked window and hitting me in my face, along with the warmth, as soon as I entered through the front door from the cold. I would play outside, almost everyday throughout that month and somewhat help my dad gather all of the colorful leaves that covered over our lawn. Most of the time, I would jump in the mountain piles of colorful leaves, just because I was that small- it would feel like a moon bounce.
I love everything about the fall: the coolness of the air, the colorful leaves, the decorations in our house and outside other people's houses, I love the smell of autumn meals and scents- I love everything about the fall. It's just a few of my childhood memories that I truly enjoyed replaying over and over in my head and it never gets old, not even to this day.
Thinking about these things, makes me want to hope. These favorite memories produce desires in me to want to have a family and children of my own someday, to relive all of the things in life that I found worth living for. And because of this, I realize that not only does God's therapy help the pain and sadness go away, it also repairs any Hope that was destroyed, by producing new ones. Of course I do have favorite memories from the other three seasons also, but this one is my all time favorite. The more I think about it, the more I see the purpose for good memories. Though I may not have too many, I have some very good ones that seems powerful enough to chase all the bad ones away.
Going to church every Sunday was also a sentimental thing to me, not because it was a reason for our family to do something together, but because I enjoyed the smell (I know I'm weird). It wasn't the message of God (especially when I'd fall asleep, not long after we'd sit down), nor was it the comfort of being with a crowd that made me so fond of going. It was the smell of my dad's old spice and the smell of incense that gave me such a pleasant feeling and everyone there, also wore a pleasant scent to church (but not the way people wear it now, since they seem to bathe themselves in perfume these days), and I really enjoyed going to church just for that reason alone. During the holidays, I loved it when the priest would whip out the burning incense or decorate the church with so many bright colors. And I loved dressing fancy for those occasions because afterward, I would continue showing off my new dress in a restaurant or at a clubhouse, when meeting up with relatives for dinner. All because of this, I've decided that church has to be a "must activity" in my life. It helps me focus on the good memories..
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
Read more articles by J LD or search for articles on the same topic or others.