Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations....
"I think whoever volunteers to do
that meshugunah missionary
work in Africa ought'a
sign a legal document that they're
banned from our country if they
get those weird plagues,
"It's not our country's fault if
they've got a screw loose!"
"A couple 'a their marbles
"What sort of marble,
"It's an American expression, LORD.
I wish Your English was better!"
"Heck, if they wanna' leave the
U.S., let'em! Just.....don't come
back! Where's their patriotism?
Why bring a plague back to their
"They love Africa so much....
let'em stay there!"
you're not showing your
If Jesus is for real
why isn't He walkin' around
Africa, right now:
takin' care 'a that whole
Middle East mess, and all those
sick, poor people?'
Why would He tell young healthy
Americans to become missionaries,
and go to those nutball countries?
That whole continent is a hell-hole!
We've got the Middle East, and
that uchen'vey Iraq
on one end, and Ebola on the
other! Too bad we can't stick
that whole continent on the space
station, and hurl it toward Pluto!"
"The whole planet would heave
a big sigh 'a relief! Just send that
whole continent off into space,
"Oy vey 'z mir,
"Ya know what I think?"
"Yes, Mein bubbelah.
But you're going to tell
"I think those meshugunah
missionaries oughta be forced
to go to the Mayo Clinic,
before they leave the U.S.,
to get their heads
examined! The frog on my
patio's got more common sense!"
"Why does America always have to clean up everybody's mess?
If Israel and those Palistinians wanna duke it out,
let'em! What are they fightin' over that ugly piece a'
rock for, anyway? Same thing for Iraq, and all those
other weird countries!
Stick 'em all on the space station, and
let'em have at each other! I only care about America!
Those nutball dictators over there could care less
about healthcare! Those people don't even have
flushable toilets! They all live like animals!
We Americans need to protect ourselves!
It's not our fault those damn missionaries gotta marble
You shall be My witnesses in Jerusalem, and
in all Judea, and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.