I am aware that most people find me strange because of my Testimonies, because I share how God has taught me things throughout my life. And because it might not be the same way most people are taught by God, people begin to question my sanity and wonder if any of the things I share really does come from Him. I think it would help to know that even though we may all be taught by God differently, we are all taught the same lessons and the same decrees. So that, when people question my Testimonies, they should not focus more on how I came to know the Truth, but become aware that I do know it, just like they do.
I have wondered to myself just how much I have shamed God and myself on and off throughout my life because I struggle with my faith even after I have seen God with my own eyes. Because like Christ said to Thomas, "You believe because you have seen, but BLESSED are those who have not seen and yet, believe." And I realize how much more of a challenge it is for other people to build faith without ever seeing wonders and why they are considered BLESSED. Those people put my faith to shame because I am like Thomas, who has seen with his own eyes and still struggled to believe because he needed to continue to see in order to continue to believe.
When God does not have the need to literally pull specks out of the eyes of the blind, like He did with me, He becomes astonished like the way Christ was astonished at the faith of the centurion, when people are able to pull the specks out of their own eyes. When a stranger, who has never seen God at all, is able to recognize Him more than those who knew God from their birth, I can see why He gives them more credit and why they are always given more than what they ever asked for.
It is because I am aware of these things, that I am able to understand why Christ said of John the Baptist, "There is none that have come greater than John, but even the least in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he." Christ was not referring to his statute or place in Heaven, nor was he referring to his level of class or authority either. He was referring to how much John was able to astonish God with his faith and it wasn't as much as those who were considered to be "the least in Heaven".
The "least in the Kingdom of Heaven" referred to those who had faith as small as a mustard seed and believed in God, even though they had never seen God; And the "greatest in Heaven", referred to those who have never seen God, but had the type of faith that was able to do great things (John 14:12). When a person is greeted and praised by a family member or a known friend for the work they do, they do not become as equally amazed, but are more astonished, when they are greeted by strangers who give them a similar praise.
I think anyone who has ever been greeted and praised by a stranger, has at one time or another, felt that great sense of honor and appreciation. It makes a person feel more special to be noticed, acknowledged and appreciated in the eyes of strangers, than in the eyes of someone who is a family member or a known friend. That's what Christ was referring to, when he spoke of "the least in the Kingdom of Heaven" being greater than John.
So here I am, knowing that "the least in the Kingdom of Heaven" is greater than me too. And I know if angels were able to be entertained by my faith that doesn't astonish God at all, how much more are they are entertained by those who do astonish Him. I used to question myself if I would have been able to build faith even as small as a mustard seed on my own, if I had never seen God.. But then, God caused me to remember those long span of years, when I had forgotten what I saw as an orphan, and how I was able to have faith greater than a mustard seed. I remember it was during those years, I used to set a really great example of faith for others before my faith was broken again. It's just sad that God had to cause me to remember my childhood visions of being with Him in order to have faith again. But that was because it was almost completely destroyed by someone I considered a trustworthy friend, someone who I thought was with God, but was actually against Him.
I am still back at level one in rebuilding my faith from the bottom all over again and I tell you it's incredibly difficult. I push you to learn from my mistakes; don't let anyone ever break your faith or trust in God.. just because they don't understand it doesn't mean your faith is void and empty. They are the ones empty of knowledge because they chose not to have faith, which is why they're always trying to belittle every knowledge you're given by God so that you can be spiritually bankrupt too. Don't even let their bitter accusations against God turn your heart against Him either. There are bad things that happen in this world that no human might be able to explain.
God has shown me that most of us will live our lives without EVER knowing our true purpose in the world because He is only willing to take the time out to show those who are willing to learn. Therefore, it is a privilege to gain understanding and it's not something that God owes to anyone but freely gives it to those who believe in Him. I will always honor those who have faith in God, that have never seen His wonders in order to believe in them. Now, they are my examples and I am the student and I pray some day I will be able to set a good example again.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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