As I continue through this difficult time, I am amazed at the extreme feelings that can be felt as I ride this emotional roller coaster. When I am struggling with thoughts of hurt and betrayal, I want so much to see justice. Have you ever been betrayed by someone you completely trusted? Itís a very painful experience, and it is really a challenge to sit by and watch evil appear to prevail. Deep inside of every one of us is a desire to see people get what they deserve. I am reminded of all the movies we watch and how good it makes us feel when someone who has been wronged gets justice. I am learning to be still and know that I serve a just God, and that He will make everything right in due time. My job is to simply believe Him with childlike faith. Every time I am attacked with thoughts of betrayal and I feel that intense emotional pain, I cast my cares upon Him for I know He cares for me. I donít always feel His presence, and I sometimes wonder if He heard me, but I can be comforted by the words of Psalm 66: 19-20: ďBut God did listen! He paid attention to my prayer. Praise God, who did not ignore my prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me.Ē
I was reminded in church yesterday that Abraham believed God and that it was counted to him as righteousness. If I will believe God with that childlike trust, it will be counted to me as righteousness. And the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Jesus said that if I believe, I will receive whatever I ask for in prayer.
When we are grieving, we walk around feeling like no one really understands what we are going through. People all around us are unaware of the heartache, the troubles, the battles we personally endure. But there is One who knows. There is One who has recorded every scar, every tear, and every hair on your head. We live in a society where people are so wrapped up in their own lives. We feel that we have enough stress in our own lives. How could we possibly have the time or energy to reach out to someone else?
But when the trials of life come, and we are the one needing help, how differently we look at things. As God carries me through this trial, I am amazed at the love and compassion that has been demonstrated by people all around me. I am so thankful for people who will take time out of their busy lives to allow God to use them. I know that in my own life, I have felt the most fulfilled when God has used me to make a difference in someone elseís life. When God brings a troubled soul into my path, I know it is an assignment from Him. And to the measure that I give, it is given unto me. I serve a God is more than enough. The net broke, and the boat began to sink with the sheer size of His Gift. I am learning to take the limitations off of God.
Today I was blessed in that God sent one of His faithful workers to my house. She helped me to see that I need to stop limiting God by my lack of faith. God has huge plans for me, but the realization of those plans is limited by my thoughts. I have made a decision to remove those limits and let His will be done. And once I am at the other end of this trial, I will be in a position to then reach out to someone else in a similar situation. If each of us were to do that, one by one we would see this world be changed for the better.
The only way to get through a trial this big is to cling to the Word of God. Today I read Ephesians 6. I am instructed to put on all of Godís armor so that I will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. I will stand my ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of Godís righteousness. I will need faith as my shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at me by Satan. I am taking the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. I am praying at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Then I leave the rest to Him. I donít need to keep looking over my shoulder. I do what I can, and I stand strong. I can face trials, discouragement, and challenges when I am clothed in His armor. He will enable me to stand.