Now I am beginning to understand why God hates divorce. When a marriage dissolves, it leaves you feeling very confused and vulnerable. We never think it will happen to us. As much as we think we are in control of our own life, it still amazes me how someone else’s choice can cut directly across our own choices and we can find ourselves right where we never wanted to be. After being half of a couple for 23 years, I imagine that I am linked to him by a thousand threads. Now I am finding those threads snapping and I’m wondering who I am. Divorce brings with it such an intense period of self discovery. I’m trying to figure out what I really like. Since I went straight from being a student to being a wife to being a mother, I never really had the chance to find out who I am. And now that I am faced with so many big changes during this major life transition, I am so grateful to serve a God who is constant.
God is with us in the midst of change, especially when those changes are so big that they push the limits of our faith. It is so reassuring to know that right in the middle of all of these big scary changes God says, “I am the Lord, and I do not change.” And Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Today I read Exodus 14. I love verse 13: “Don’t be afraid. Just stand where you are and watch the LORD rescue you…The LORD himself will fight for you. You won’t have to lift a finger in your defense!” And just as He opened up a path through the water with a strong east wind and delivered the people of Israel to the other side, I am confident that He will carry me safely to the other side.
I find that if I look too far ahead, beyond the next few steps illuminated by Him, it is easy to get overwhelmed and anxious. But the Word says to be anxious for nothing. I can rest in knowing that the future is just a bunch of todays strung together. I’m not going to figure it all out right now. God promises deliverance through each individual day. Every day has enough troubles of its own. But with the knowledge that I can stand firm each and every day, I am able to overcome the fear of the unknown. Every day I get one step closer to the other side.