“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”-Ephesians 5:22-24
This was always the hardest for me and it is something that I still struggle with. I am a real person and I do have struggles that I deal with on a daily basis, and I do not always agree with my husband, and at times I am also not submissive the way that I should be. I have never liked the word “submissive: and the definition of “submissive” or “submission” is the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person; meekness, humility. I have met no one that likes to be submissive or wants to be submissive.
This topic is a very sensitive topic with a lot of Christian women and it is very difficult as a Christian wife to submit fully to our husbands, especially in the way the world is today. A lot of women have careers, they are moms, they are top executive directors, have college degrees. We also take care of our homes and families. Some women are the breadwinners in the family. There is nothing wrong with that. It actually takes a faithful, strong woman to be submissive to her husband. Women today do have it all and can have it all. The Bible calls for us to be submissive to our husbands and our husbands to be submissive to Christ.
One of the most hardest things to do as a Christian wife us biblical submission. The word submission is not just for wives alone. Christians are to submit themselves to each other (Ephesians 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God ), to government (Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.), and unto God (James 4:7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.) This is a common concept in the Bible. The word submit or variations of are used 25 times in the NKJV Bible. Submission is to be used as our service to God, whether one another or our husbands. We are not submitting to our husbands, we are submitting to God, it is His will and His way. The man is the head of household and does make all final decisions. We are called to speak to our husbands, to talk about subjects that we disagree with, our husbands are to listen and talk to us about decisions, but in the end, after he weighs all the options, ultimately, he is the decision maker.
God strongly encourages women to lovingly and willingly follow their husband’s guidance (Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. , 1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, ). A christian wife should constantly practice this, willingly put herself under her husband’s guidance, choosing to be under his authority, as he puts himself under Christ’s authority.
A christian wife shows submission to her husband when she lets him take the authority role in their marriage. His role as the leader is to be completely submissive to God and His Word. (1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. ). Submission is not a sign of weakness, rather than a sign of strength. To let anyone be in charge or leader takes a lot of faith and trust. That trust needs to be put in your husband, as head of household and God as Father of all creation and things.
Wives are not instructed or called to submit to their husbands because God promises that our husbands will always be kind or loving. When a wife submits to her husband, she is submitting to God, and there is nothing more perfect that serving and submitting to God. A wife consequently does not submit because her husband deserves it or is worthy of it at all times. A wife submits because she knows it’s appealing God. A time will come when a wife has to give that control to her husband, and he is not worthy of it from a human stand point. God has made our husbands as the head of household and a wife can trust that God is faithful. Also, realize that God is all knowing and God does realize everything and our husbands will be held accountable for their actions by God.
As a wife submitting to her husband, do not try to take his role from him. Even as early as Adam and Eve, we have successfully tried to take the role as leader from our husbands, and more often then not, our husbands have has often let us take over that role. We have used many tricks over time to try to take control of authority, including manipulation, nagging, deception. These traits and actions are all sin. When a wife tries these techniques, successful or not, she is not submitting to God and design of marriage. He is very clear on all accounts the roles for husbands, wives, and children. A true submissive wife must learn to trust in God and his faithfulness first.
A true submissive wife is not dismissed and is not worthless and unimportant, she is not to sit quietly while her husband delegates all the decisions. In a marriage partnership the husband and wife work together as one unit with household and parenting decisions. When a decision cannot be made and agreed to, the husband makes the ultimate decision, knowing he is the responsible one and he answers to God for whatever his final decision is. With a decision that a husband must make, a submissive wife is not overstepping her role by contributing advice. It must be done in a way that shows respect for his position as head of the family, which God has appointed him. A submissive wife extends ample support, understanding that decisions that our husbands make is very stressful to them, the burden lies within them, so if they make a bad decision or fail, they feel the most pressure to fix it and make it right.
We have tried to be in charge. However, marriage doe not function this way. Jesus submitted to God. (Matthew 26:39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”). It would be contradictory to say that Jesus is not as important than God. They are One, and Jesus cannot be less important. His submission had nothing to do with His worth, it had to do with God’s design. It is the same with our marriages, one is not less than the other, one is not more than the other, we are equal.
To submit takes humility. It takes a lot of prayer and faith in Christ. But so does Christ like leadership. Wives can look to Jesus as an example, and see His love and sacrifice as they willingly choose to submit to the husband God has given them.