She says, “Why can’t you just love me?” Translation: “Why are you not giving me the unconditional and euphoric (God kind) of love that I crave?”
He exclaims, “Why do you want to change me?” Translation: “Why can’t you accept me for who I am.. fearfully and wonderfully made?”
She wonders, “Why can’t I be myself around them. I hate the fact that I can’t be real, that I can’t express what I really think all the time, and that I don’t feel understood.” Translation: “I am looking for you to accept me for me… wholly and without restriction. I am looking for a relationship that you cannot possibly satisfy.”
He laments, “I have everything… from the outside, but how can I feel so alone?” Translation: “Why does my life lack meaning, and how to I fill the void that is in me?”
Do these sound familiar? They should, because we have all said or felt them at some point. It is easy to say that we “understand” how much God loves us, but do we really comprehend the depth and magnitude of it? If we did, would we be searching for someone other than Christ to fill our lives with that euphoric joy that comes with “being in love”? Would we be looking for others to accept and define us when the only opinion that really matters is God’s? Would we be looking for “stuff” to fill the emptiness in our hearts as if it really could? The pursuit of these things leaves us unsatisfied, and always wanting more. The reason is that we were never created to pursue things created in this world. Material possessions are blessings, not fulfillment, and can be nice used in the correct context. It is nice to be blessed, but if you are not putting your love where it should go, you will end up empty and desiring more.
It is a universal emotion to desire to be loved and accepted for who you are. We cultivate relationships around this type of intimacy. We want to be understood on a deep level- however how many of our relationships are superficial? We want to feel a deep connection with someone… but sometimes they reject us in one way or another unknowingly. We fill our lives with money or possessions only to find out that they do not bring us the joy that we want forever… so we look for the next greatest thing hoping to fill the void only to find out that it can’t. Why are we always searching for something that evades us, and why can’t this need ever seem to be satisfied?
Money, cars, food, drugs, alcohol, people, possessions… all of the things that you mentally thought “If I only had….I would be happy.” will never make you happy because you will always want something better or something different eventually. Technology is always changing. Even if you had what you wanted (or thought that you wanted), you still wouldn’t be satisfied. The old adage that money doesn’t buy happiness is true on one level or another. If you had money, yes, you would have possessions that you desire. However, to maintain that type of lifestyle, you need to work at keeping that same level of income flowing in. Everything costs money to maintain, and you need to know how to keep it flowing- you need to know how to properly manage it. To manage it takes work, effort, and time. If these things aren’t put in, then the money goes all to quickly and so does the lifestyle. With more money and position comes more responsibility. Things aren’t as easy as they may seem.
Also, if you had everything that you wanted, would you be happy? What would you have to look forward to? To strive for? What would motivate you to get up in the morning? Too many people have everything, and yet they are bored. So they search for destructive ways to put excitement back into their lives. But all that happens is they end up broken either emotionally or physically.
The most common type of yearning is for the love and acceptance from other people. We care on some level what people think, and it is amazing at how fast we can conform no matter how old we are. Just watch someone that you are close to behave around certain people that they are seeking approval from. It is amusing to watch what they will do or say that may appear to be out of character. Worse yet, sometimes we develop relationships out of a desire to be loved and out of an emptiness only to find our heart broken, or in an unhealthy relationship only to wonder what happened, and what went wrong years later.
We don’t have to go through these pitfalls, hurts and heart aches when all that we are searching for is so readily available. If you are looking for acceptance and not rejection, love and not disappointment, fulfillment in your life and not emptiness, a plan and a purpose not aimlessness, then it can be found in the one who created you. God created you to have this need not so that you can fill it with “stuff”, people, or relationships, but with a relationship with Him. Only He can satisfy these desires, only He can put blessings into your life, because He created you to have a relationship with Him- not others.
God will not reject you, He loves you for who you are. You may have sin in your life, and God doesn’t like sin, but He still loves you no matter what. If He didn’t, why would He still desire a relationship with you? Why would He try to bring people across your path that point you back to church and Him? Would He give up trying? The truth is that He never does! He never turns His back on you like others do. He is always pursuing His children.
“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us to sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is a gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” (Ephesians 2:4-9)
This states that even when we were far from Him, He still loved us when we were dead in sin. When the word says “dead in sin”, it references the scripture that reads “the wages of sin is death”. This type of death is eternal separation from Christ for those who do not repent.
However, even when we are in sin, and have no relationship with Him, He still loves us and wants us. How many parents could sacrifice one of their children for the benefit of the rest of the family? God so loved His children (us) that He sacrificed His ONLY son, Jesus, whom He loved, was well pleased, and who was without sin, so that He would no longer be separated from us. Jesus was blameless, and yet He took on our sins so that we could have a relationship with Christ and live eternally in heaven. Could you, in your heart, make the same sacrifice? Could you punish a child who hadn’t done anything wrong just to save the others from destroying themselves? This just gives you a glimpse of the magnitude of God’s love.
For those of you who feel worthless, and wonder why you are here, what purpose that you have, and ponder at how unlovable you feel, reflect on this scripture from Psalms:
“For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written. The days fashioned for me. When as yet there were none of them. How precious are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.” Psalms 139:13-18
This scripture states that God created and knew you before you were even born- you are His creation, and He made you perfectly- Genesis 1:27 states that we were made in God’s own image. If we know that God is perfect, and we were created in His image, than how can we feel as if we are flawed, as if God created something that was unworthy? God’s word says that He formed us with His own hands, and created us to be special because we are special in His sight. We weren’t just mass produced by a machine, we were formed by God by His own hands. God knows everything about us- nothing is hidden. He sees the potential in you and has written about you and what you are yet to be in His book. He loved you so much that He created you with a purpose that will provide you with the great joy that you see, and best yet the blessings are yet to follow! David further cites that God’s thoughts towards us are so precious, and so bountiful, that if we should count all the good thinks that He sees in us, that they would be more than the sand- that there are too many to even count. Better yet, even in our deepest sorrow, He is still with us, never forsaking us, always thinking the best.