Are you a man who is struggling with bad habits or addictions? Maybe everything is okay in those areas but you simply want to become a better husband or father? Then too, it is possible that if you are a Christian or religious person you desire to have a more disciplined walk in your faith? In all of these cases, one of the things that could be of help to you is getting one or more accountability partners.
Accountability partners are other men who really care about you and are committed to your personal maturity. I am NOT talking about homosexual relationships here. Let's say you are struggling to overcome temptation, anger, pornography, or just anything in your life or relationships that you believe is not right or does not belong. You may benefit from talking to other men for counseling, wisdom, and support. If you are a religious person maybe you need someone who will pray with you. You need man to man conversation and interaction. Do man things together, and while you are, talk about your problems.
Have your accountability partners call you once a week, or however often you believe is necessary, to see how you are doing. Provide them with a list of key questions to ask you that will help you own up to taking charge of your life. These questions should be tailored to your specific needs. I have listed some sample questions at the end of this article. You can also meet with them on a regular basis over a cup of coffee.
These men should be ones who you can call at a moments notice, within reasonable hours, if you find yourself really tempted or falling into a negative pattern of behavior or thinking, and you need some "emergency" help. Have their numbers programmed into your cell phone. You may need accountability partners over a short-term or long-term basis, depending upon your situation and how quickly you are experiencing victory over your struggles. Accountability is like counseling in that you get practical and ongoing wisdom and support. Best of all, its free, but it should not replace professional counseling if that is what is necessary for you to experience freedom over your issues.
Your accountability partners should probably include a pastor or priest, and someone who has been through what you are experiencing. They must be people who will not judge you when you fall. Your goal should be to wean yourself off of your accountability partners, but still retain them in case you need them again at a later time.
One last but very important thing. Tell your wife you have an accountability partner, and why. I am sure many wives would be excited and encouraged to know that their husbands are holding themselves responsible to someone in order to overcome some struggle or to be a better husband.
Now, here are some sample questions for your accountability partner to ask you:
1. How is it going with your wife in terms of attitudes, having meaningful conversations, doing things together, etc.?
2. Are you wresting with something in secret?
3. How are your finances doing? Are you using your money wisely?
4. Were you tempted this week in some area?
5. Have you been with a woman this past week that might be seen as compromising?
6. Have you exposed yourself to any sexually explicit material?
7. Have you just lied to me?
Having accountability partners is working for me. I hope it might be of help to you. Reminder: General questions are fine, but try to make them fit the need of the moment as much as possible.