Genesis 2:18…19-24~“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.’ 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
Each morning, God blesses me with the glory of dawn so that my eyes may behold the majestic unfolding of a new day. Although such beauty strikes a profound chord of gladness in my heart today, life played a different tune many years before; as my disobedience to God’s Word filled my world with endless errors of judgment; and marriage was no exception. As a devout Christian and former adulterer, it’s my duty to testify about my experiences of not one, but three fruitless marriages.
After mistakes go on record transforming our successes into failures, hindsight becomes an elusive reality, not of what could have been, but rather, what should have been. Too bad this foresight eludes our willful nature, igniting a spark of sinful acts seared in the depth of our souls. However, not all is lost if we learn to tread in the embers of new found wisdom—born from the fire of trial and error. Truthfully speaking, even with all my inadequate choices of life, I stand strong, free of regret because it was during fighting the waves of troubled waters that I discovered a life jacket of faith and perseverance which kept me afloat of marital angst.
In reflecting on how God originally designed marriage according to His divine plan, I now understand the blunder of my actions that resulted in the dissolution of my first union. As a young girl of twenty-one, I embarked upon this sacred promise without first praying, or obeying the golden precepts that God engraved in the hearts of our ancestors. My immoral decisions cheated me from experiencing the proverbial Adam and Eve concept of marital bliss.
"Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord" (Proverbs 19:14).
God created marriage in which two souls are blended together as one flesh; a divine bond made null and void only by death, or from the sinful act of adultery. Let’s delve into God’s own words quoted in the passage below when Jesus was questioned about marriage:
"The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?' And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning "made them male and female," and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh"? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?' He said to them, 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery'" (Matthew 19:3-9).
A drug induced whirlwind swept my husband away into the clutches of a dark clouded dust which also led to adulterous acts on both our part. As the years slipped by and on the other side of divorce, I was able to finally forgive him; and to this day, my heart remains immensely grateful to my ex-husband. He gave me the most beautiful gift that a woman could ever hope for in one lifetime—my only son, Matthew who was three years old and the sole reason for my freedom of not harboring any regrets from such a tumultuous marriage to his dad.
I was eager to leap into yet another marriage before Matthew reached the age of five, so eager in fact that I sinfully inhabited under the same roof with a man who was not destined to be my husband by God’s standards. However, as with most of our worldly experiences, I was hit with a stone through a sling from the book of hard knocks; stricken by a blow of another ill-fated marriage. This so called husband not only fooled me, but his farce of presenting a Christian man of integrity deceived my family as well; which my spirit could have discerned had I not recklessly dove into his pool of lies.
The Book of Life clearly exemplifies marriage as a unification of divine origin; it was never intended for mankind to sculpt into an unholy potted mold of adulterous Matrimony. God instructs His children to cherish the marital bed as a way to preserve the morality of true love.
Hebrews 13:4~“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
My final round of fighting the good fight of marriage transpired in a boxing ring impacted by sparing with my third husband, a man twenty-seven years my senior. I chose not to consider the ramifications of our age difference as well as failing to take into account what his spiritual beliefs may or may not have been. I was very fond of him and eventually reserved myself to exchange passionate love for financial security. Here we go again with lessons learned the hard way, if only I would have taken some time to honor the veracity of God’s commands rather than living by my own preconceived ideas toiling inside my dispirited thoughts.
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).
I neglected to obey God’s precept pertaining to being “equally yoked” because it was preceded by a downward spiral of lustful temptation and greed; a force far more sinister to match wits with my rebellious spirit. My husband and I were like two spiders caught in a tangled web of drunken desire spraying each other and other victims with our bottled poison. There were countless times when our sinful lifestyle caused so many souls to get scorched by the fiery pit strategically located at the brink of hell. In the midst of almost losing our very souls, the only thing to quench our thirst was the pouring rainfall of the all mighty dollar.
Proverbs 1:19—“Such is the end of all who go after ill-gotten gain; it takes away the lives of those who get it.”
Proverbs 10:2—“Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from death.”
One thing is certain, whenever I committed one marital sin, countless other sins would stick like a cluster of magnets to faded metal. Just as always, I would try to justify my sins with reasons that were without merit. For example, in my distorted way of thinking, the reason that I committed adultery was because my older husband exhibited little to zero desire to live up to his marital duty. It is amazing at the excuses we tell ourselves in a weak attempt to negate the wrong things that we do. In essence all I had to do was listen to the teachings of what God says about adultery. There are numerous Bible passages pertaining to adultery, as God's way of warning us to steer clear as to preserve the sanctity of our temples and to avoid the flood gates of hell.
Matthew 5:27-29—“You have heard that it was said to them of old: Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her, hath already committed adultery with her in his heart. And if thy right eye scandalize thee, pluck it out and cast it from Thee. For it is expedient for thee that one of thy members should perish, rather than thy whole body be cast into hell.”
In this present day, I have been pardoned by God’s forgiving grace for previous acts of adultery and all other sins which were a catalyst to the dissolution of my marriages. However, I also had to forgive myself as well as others, in addition to repenting so that I could earn total vindication for my previous way of living. I decided to share this testimony as a means to encourage others who may be struggling in an unequally yoked marriage. My former life which was consumed by a multitude of sins, died on the Cross with my Savior—Jesus Christ, transformed by His blood and reborn through the Holy Spirit that Christ left for each of us to believe and receive, after His ascension into Heaven.
Ephesians 4:22-24~ “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”
Romans 15:3~"Now may God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy and peace as you believe, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Blessings and love in Christ to you all and may you find peace of mind, heart and spirit in your journey through this complex thing we call life...