Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Gospel PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE AS A MEMBER OR ANONYMOUSLY
  SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Can Jesus truly sympathize with us?
by Julie Michaelson
01/27/14
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





For
we have
not
a high priest
who is
unable to
sympathize
with
our weaknesses.
[Hebrews 4:15]
**********************
"That's not true,
Lord."

"What,
child."

"This thing in HEBREWS!
It's not TRUE!"

"What isn't,
My precious."

"Oh forget it, LORD!
You're off,
on planet VENUS,
again!
Just forget I'm not HERE!"

"I can't forget,
Mein child."
[CHUCKLE.]
"It is
impossible."

"Yeah,
but You're not LISTENING!
I SAID......that this thing
in HEBREWS...isn't TRUE!"

"Why,
child."

"Well.
I thought that Jesus was born
without....SIN! So how could
he be tempted....like, ME?"

"Because
He was,
Mein kinder."

"No!
He WASN'T!"

[SILENCE.]

"What about SEXUAL temptation?
I think that would probably
creep everybody OUT!
ECH!"

[NOD.]
"I understand,
My kinder."

"Neah.
I'm sorry.
That's just really STUPID."

[NOD.]

"That's like,
really DISGUSTING."

[NOD.]

"How could Jesus sympathize
about ANYTHING...
with ME?"

"He does,
child."

"WHY?
HE never went to WALMART..
and wanted to buy everything
in SIGHT!"

[SIGH.]

"HE never had to take his
CAT to the vet....to be
EUTHANIZED!"

[NOD.]

"HE never got OLD,
and WORTHLESS!"

"Oy vey."

"HE never even went on a ...
DATE! Let alone...be tempted
by a 60 year old man with
nice chest hair!"

"Vey'z mir.
I think I will
move to Venus."

"WELL?
That's what I MEAN!"

[BECKON TO AN ANGEL
WHO HAS JUST ARRIVED
FROM CLEVELAND. THE
ANGEL IS WEARING A
HOODED PARKA, A WOOLEN
FACE MASK, AND 4 PAIRS
OF MITTENS. BUT AS PER
PROTOCOL, THOUGH,
HE IS BAREFOOT.]

"Jesus never had the FLU!"

"How do you know,
My child."

"I don't think they had
the FLU....in those days!"

[SIGH. DEMAND OF THE
ANGEL TO TAKE OFF THE
WOOLEN WING-CAPS THAT
HE HAD BOUGHT AT WALMART
TO FEND OFF THE COLD,
AND GET HIS SORRY BUTT
BACK TO EARTH.]

"I'm just sorry,
Lord."

"About what,
Mein kinder:
the sexual temptation?"

"Hell, NO!
I'm....57!
I could die, at any MOMENT!
May as well have some fun
before I GO!"

"Vey z'mir."

"No!
I'm SORRY!
I just don't
believe that!
That JESUS
was sorely tempted in all
points as we ARE!
I'm SORRY!
It just doesn't MESH!"

[NOD.]

"It's just not KOSHER!"

[CHUCKLE.]

"It just doesn't cut the
MUSTARD!"

[NOD. TELL THE ANGEL TO
TAKE OFF ALL THOSE MITTENS
AND GET BACK TO WORK. THE
ANGEL, WHO IS SQUINTING
AT HIS WALMART RECEIPT,
AND BITING ON A THUMB
NAIL, SAYS THAT HIS TEETH
ARE STILL CHATTERING FROM
HIS FLIGHT FROM OHIO,
AND THAT HE'S APPLYING FOR
HIS NEXT ASSIGNMENT IN
HAWAII. THE LORD NODS
PATIENTLY, AND TURNS BACK
TO HIS MISBEHAVING CHILD.]
"The only mustard you like
child,
is Guildens.....
and,
We are not talking
about Jesus' temptations."

"Yeah!
Cuz, He didn't have ANY!"

"We are
talking...,
My beloved,
about
yours."
*********************
One
who
in every
respect
has been
tempted
as we
are,
yet
without
sin.
[Hebrews 4:15]

Copyright 2014.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Julie Michaelson or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 145 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date




TRUST JESUS TODAY














Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com