This is not the type of story anyone wants to live or write about. I hope in sharing my experience, will keep you from it.
It was a time of darkness and depression in my life, for me and my husband. Needless to say nothing was going well. We had 2 great sons, which were in bed asleep on this night as many other nights when we began drinking and fighting.
I remember killing off the 5th of whiskey when my husband went to the bathroom, and I with out a flinch grabbed the bottle of codeine cough syrup, a 90cc bottle and downed it,. I remember seeing him come back into the kitchen, before I collapsed to the floor. The next thing I remember was being flung over his shoulder and he had one kid in each arm heading for the truck.
The next thing I remember, there is a nurse inserting a tube into my stomach, and I am cursing and trying to hurt this woman, and I didn't know why. I am not violent or mean.
They started pumping out my stomach, and I kept going in and out of consciousness. Until I remember the time I was coming up and reentering my body, and I woke up screaming I'm cold so cold, what happened to me, did I die?? I was crying, but I knew, I already knew the answer.
My death was not a pleasant one like you hear of lots of times, people going to the light and seeing family. No mine was lonely dark and cold. blackness all around and then I could feel the slimy surface I was being swallowed up by, down and down, no light in sight. I could see, feel and hear faces, hands screams coming out of the purple, maroon throat. Grabbing and screaming and the tormented faces and screams. You can't forget that. But it's not something you talk about either. Sure I have told my story to my sisters, and family. I am putting it out there now, in hopes it will keep someone from experiencing the same thing. I stayed a week in the psych ward after that. It wasn't very pleasant either. God, put us on the right path, and the prayers of a lot of people.
Get help and counseling, get into a good church, before you get to the point I was.
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