By: Rick L. King
December 22, 2013
Have you found yourself alone and have wanted a mate? Many people seem to be in this situation these days. What I want to relate is some experiences that I have seen others have plus some scriptural principles that help and protect us.
For many reasons we do not always make the right choices. A friend of mine asked me a question recently. I was asked what I thought about a believer marrying an unbeliever. My first response was based on scripture that said:
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Why is this so important? First of all God says that it is the Spirit that gives to us life (2 Co 3:6). When we are a true Christian, by that I mean we are born again and Jesus has become Lord of our life, and our priority becomes what to do to please him. We want to really know what God says about something as we don't want to go outside of his will and plan for us. When we feel alone however it seems that sometimes our feelings and emotions get rather strong and are hard to push down. We can get blinded by our desires and justify many things. After all God said that it is not good for man to be alone correct? The problem we face is that we all need to be loved. Even though we know that God loves us it is hard to hug God physically or hold his hand. It is a spiritual thing and not a fleshly thing. I want to relate an experience that I witnessed a close friend of mine having and what they did.
This girl was a Christian. The Holy Spirit spoke to her that she needed a man that was spiritually stronger than herself. Oddly enough less than a month later I found out that she got married. I had not even known that she was with someone else let alone was getting married. We talked on the phone after she married and she told me that when he was down she could help him. Yet, when she was a little down, he didn't have a clue how to help her. This is unequally yoked. Yes they probably got along great physically but spiritually they were far from equal. I reminded her of what she had told me prior to her marriage and that she had rejected what the Holy Spirit had told her because of physical attraction over pleasing the Lord. She was finding out that she had made a wrong choice. I don't know if she remained married as we seemed to lose contact after that.
Another friend of mine had a friend that also got married. She married a so called minister. He as it ended up was far from an anointed minister and was spiritually very shallow. She was miserable. Here she thought this guy is a minister and we should be able to study, pray, and minister together. This was far from what happened to her. She has regretted marrying him ever since.
These stories are about unequally yoked Christians. They were both miserable as a result of their wrong choices. Granted, with much prayer it is possible that God may change the men to become spiritual leaders over time. Before making a decision such as marriage we must hear from the Lord and know that it is him as it is so easy to be deceived because of our own desires, emotions, and feelings. Just to be married for marriage sake is not worth it. Yes, there are some fringe benefits but look at the cost. If a person really wants to follow the Lord and have an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit, then the only marriage that is acceptable is the one that God alone joins together. Any other is what I call spiritual suicide. A person that knows how to pray and enjoys God's presence spiritually dies if they cannot continue this direction. Unequally yoked takes your focus off of a closeness to the Lord as you now must deal with your mate. Paul told us:
I Corinthians 7:
32 But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
It is hard enough at times even if you are with a person that is spiritually equal with you as you must deal with all kinds of circumstances and attacks of the enemy. God says:
Mathew 12:25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
So I want to answer the question asked me in the beginning with "Why would you want to marry a non-believer". Physically it might be great. But spiritually you are rejecting what God desires and you are going your own way. Unless God gives you a rhema word which I think wisdom would be that it be confirmed more than once that it is His will, then I believe you are being foolish if you accept a substitute for what can be in the Lord. It could cost you ministry, your life, your spiritual relationship with the Lord, etc. It is not worth it if you are in fact a true Christian. To marry a non-believer I believe is spiritual suicide no matter how great the fleshly part may be.