July 26, 2013
Today is my 30th birthday. The final weeks of my twenties were a blur, and now, here it is, the "big 3-0". God is already blessing me in abundance today. Yesterday was spent battling insurance companies and figuring out how not to pay $14,000 for a two-week supply of JR's daily injections. As it stood, we had to go to the hospital every morning for the injection to be admitted in-patient until we could get this mess straightened out. It was very frustrating and looked like we'd be going daily until sometime next week. Lo and behold, at 8pm I got a call saying we were clear, and the drugs would arrive on my doorstep this morning. Sure enough they did. No hospital for us today! (I do have to give my son an injection when he wakes up from his nap though...gulp).
Its July 26th in North Carolina. There is not a cloud in the sky or an ounce of humidity in the air. It is a GLORIOUS day. Brandon is working from home this morning, which allowed me to dip out for my first run since cancer crashed into our lives. It was one for the books. 3 miles, and I didn't push "skip" on my iPod once. There are two major hills in my route. For the first hill I got Destiny's Child "Survivor" which powered Ty and I up at top speed. "I'm a SURVIVOR, I'm gonna make it, Not gonna stop, I'm gonna work harder..." Good stuff. For the nice long downhill I got "Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World" medley. The tears streamed. Not the first time I've cried while running...talk about cleansing! I didn't think it could get better, but it did. For my final uphill (and we're talking a good quarter to half mile ascent), "Umbrella" by Rhiana. Now, anyone who did TFA with me from 2005-2008 immediately understands why this song means so much to me. I LOVED this song during those trying years, and it was the "theme song" of my friendship with some of my most dear friends, L, J & Y. This weekend the four of us and our families planned to rent a lake house together on Lake Norman, Charlotte. The girls arrived to the house last night and they are on their way to Raleigh now, to shower us with their love. <3 Hearing that song today, while they are en route here was really powerful: "...When the sun shines, we'll shine together, Told you I'll be here forever, Said I'll always be your friend, Took an oath, I'm gonna stick it out to the end...Now that it's raining more than ever, Know that we'll still have each other, You can stand under my umbrella (ella...ELLA...)" Yeah, it was a good run.
I also want to share another moment of God's grace from last weekend. We got home from our week in the hospital on Friday night. On Saturday evening we went out to dinner with some loved ones for JR's last public appearance pre-chemo, and early b-day celebration for me. While driving to the restaurant (at 5pm), the sun was blaring and rain was pouring. As soon as we got to the restaurant I got out of the car and stood in the rain looking for God's promise. It took a minute or so to find. It wasn't a brilliant double rainbow or anything like that. It was faint and it was low, but it was there. It was Him. At times he may appear faint or non-existant, but he is there.
My brother once told me that the mind is a servant to us, and not the other way around. That sticks with me. If you can get out of your head you will find yourself in God's presence and grace. It's been so hard for me to do that over the past several weeks as my mind was gripped with fear and confusion. I'm starting to come out of that state now. I'm beginning to connect with God more and fear less. His grace and glory is abounding! Like life in general, this birthday is not what I expected, but, so long as I am open to receive His blessings, it's gonna be great! <3
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