A while back grief came up and hit square in the face and left me with the most excruciating heart pain I have ever known. The following are excerpts from my book, Nikki’s Tail-Waggin’ Lessons and my recent bout with grief. Nikki was my special Golden Girl that I believe God sent to me for a time. I had never connected at the soul-level like I did with this special friend with the wet nose and the wiggly tail-end. On with part of this story…
“As we continue to enjoy this wonderful life together, Nikki, God was preparing you for your most important assignment. This was a lesson I did not want you to teach me. At the beginning of October, 2011, you were diagnosed with lymphoma that was not curable … When I heard that you would not live more than a few months, I was shocked and stunned. The realization that you would be gone by the end of November was unacceptable; there had to be something we could do. My thoughts were, “How can this be? You are only five years old.” The doctor indicated that you really didn’t know you were sick and that you were feeling no pain. My heart started to die with you and we lost you the end of March 2012.”
During this whole time I was asking God why you had to be taken from me at such a young age. My heart cried out to God, “Where are you Lord!” I knew in my mind that He was watching over me, but I didn’t feel His presence. Let’s continue with the story...
“What gave some peace to my heart was that you were pretty much yourself through the whole ordeal. We had been praying that the Lord would take you home peacefully without us making the decision to put you down. We spent time together, while you rested in your favorite spot under a big tree in the backyard. I had to leave you for a short while and you wouldn’t come with me. When I came back out a short time later, you had completed your assignment and had slipped peacefully into the loving arms of God. I can see God looking down at you and saying, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant; now come home,” as He tenderly scooped you up. I guess you didn’t want me to see you graduate. You knew it would have broken my heart to watch you leave, so you snuck out when I wasn’t looking. You always looked out for me, even at the end.”
God’s Word says, “The Lord Himself watches over you! The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade. The sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon at night. The Lord keeps you from all harm and watches over your life. The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.” God knew what was best, even though my heart was broken at the time. You were a great teacher and you will be forever on my heart. To the reader, when your heart is broken remember His Word. God is your ultimate comforter and He will hold you in His arms until you are ready to move forward once again. Look for the continuation of this story.
PASSAGE: Psalm 121:5-8 (NLT)
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