As we examine the life of Abigail, there are certain qualities she exhibited that every Christian wife would do well to emulate. The principles that guided her life if followed will not only change our lives but is guaranteed to transform our homes into the haven of joy, love, comfort, companionship and peace it was meant to be. What are the lifestyle qualities she expounded that made her life an exemplary one akin to the Proverbs 31 woman? The 7 points below are worth reading:
1. Knowledge and wisdom should come before beauty.
In 1 Samuel 25:3b we read thus: And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance.
Her knowledge was highlighted first before her beauty. Every Christian wife must have wisdom. She must cherish it more than she cherishes her outward beauty. And for her to gain wisdom, she must know the Lord for herself. Men generally are attracted to outward beauty, no doubt, but what will build your home are knowledge, wisdom and understanding. So while your outward beauty attracts him to you, it is the wisdom in you that will keep him to you. Wisdom can and will sustain her where her beauty will not.
Beauty diminishes with age. If beauty is the only quality you have to offer, what will you do when the decline sets in? However, wisdom increases with age. It is a wise woman indeed who would lay hold of wisdom and refuse to let go when she is still beautiful. For when the beauty fades, the wisdom will not only keep her going but will also keep her husband by her side. “For she does him good all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12). For you see “charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30).
How do we obtain this wisdom? The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. You must have a solid relationship with Jesus as Your Lord and Savior. Then you must make the word of God bread for daily use not cake for special occasions; followed by a lifestyle of constantly communing with the Father through prayer. Again you need to get good Christian books/magazines to immerse yourself in. Attend seminars and workshops aimed at strengthening your home and the special relationship with your husband.
2. Be hospitable. It will come back to you.
1 Samuel 25:18 reads: “Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep already dressed, five seahs of roasted grain, one hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys”. All of these supplies for David and his men. These were men who protected her husband’s workers and wealth. They were being abused and treated like vagabonds when they should actually be welcomed with fan fair. Notice that by being hospitable, she averted the certain destruction that would have befallen the entire family. So for every opportunity you have to do good, don’t hesitate, do it! Open the doors of your home to people. Welcome them. Bless them with your substance. You won’t become poor by being a blessing to other people.
3. Always do the right thing even if it means standing alone.
By the way standing alone may mean your feet are planted on the solid rock to stand, while all around you the sands are sinking. You will stand firmly rooted in Christ. Abigail did not join her husband in cursing the servants of David. She did the exact opposite. She blessed them both with her substance and her words.
A good Christian woman should not perish with her husband if he insists on traveling the road that leads to hell. Sapphira learned that the hard way. She joined, abetted, supported, and agreed with her husband to tell a lie. Unfortunately, she didn’t live long to change her life. Both she and her husband were instantly destroyed. Abigail on the other hand refused to join her foolish husband in doing evil. Only he was visited with the wrath of God. The LORD struck him and he died! Elizabeth joined her husband, Zacharias in glorifying God through their lifestyles and both of them got blessed in their old age with no ordinary child!
Do you commit adultery, o you Christian woman, as a way of paying your husband back because you caught him with another lady? Do you guzzle bottle after bottle of beer simply because your husband wouldn’t stop drinking? Do you slap back because he slaps you? Do you steal money from his pockets simply because he doesn’t give you enough? Do you agree with him that instead of paying tithes, he should buy you that wrapper you’ve been longing to have? Do you keep quiet when your husband refuses to help those in need even when you have more than enough?
Again I repeat, if he insists on traveling to hell; then don’t enter the vehicle with him. Let him go alone! However, if you’ve got the right kind of man – the opposite of Nabal, then you make sure you take your place by his side, fasten your seat belt, and ride along until you both make it to heaven!
4. Learn the invaluable art of good communication.
1 Samuel 25:19 says “And she said to her servants,’ Go on before me; see, I am coming after you’. But she did not tell her husband Nabal.” “And Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; therefore she told him nothing, little or much, until morning light” (1 Samuel 25:36b). Here again we see the wisdom Abigail at work. Sometimes not saying anything to your husband is actually speaking. When you refuse to be drawn into an argument, you are actually saying something. When you refuse to answer back, you are speaking loudly to his conscience. If she had told her husband about her mission before setting out, he’d have stopped her and eventually the whole family might have been wiped out.
Notice also the wisdom that proceeded out of her mouth when she spoke to David. First, she apologized. She recognizes her husband’s folly. These are her exact words: “But the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the LORD your God; and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out as from the pocket of a sling” (Verse 29b). This must have made an immense impression on David. She uses a language that David could easily relate with. Recall that David got his first public victory over Goliath using a slingshot and a stone. He easily connected to that. O Christian wife, learn to always season your words with salt. A wise woman churns up wise words. She also saw royalty in David when he didn’t even have a home to call his own. He was perambulating in the wilderness running away from King Saul. Is it any wonder that David later asked her to marry him?
Treat your husband like royalty even it appears like he is perambulating in the wilderness of confusion. As his helpmeet, you may be the one to help him locate his Garden of Eden. When you speak, do you bring chaos into the situation? Do you inflame an already smoldering fire into an inferno? Let the words that come out of your mouth be words of healing and restoration. “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26, NKJV).