Getting Emotionally Involved
by Babangida Joseph
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Have you ever been in love? It is without doubt one of the most exciting aspects of oneís life. One of the greatest risks you could ever be called upon to take in your life is to decide to get emotionally involved with someone.
However, being emotionally involved with someone doesnít just happen. It takes considerable efforts and determination to keep a relationship going. You risk loving someone who does not love you the way you love them.
Knowing the risk(s) involved before one gets or decides to get emotionally attached would help in avoiding the heartache that is sure to follow after.
You may need to ask yourself certain questions like what am I willing to give in order to relate to this person, how much am I willing to contribute to keep these levels of relationship running? And this is not just in terms of money. Am I available? How much time would be required off me? How about the frequency of communication? What about the level of communication? What price am I willing to pay to keep the relationship going? Unfortunately, a lot pay huge prices that they have overdrawn from their emotional bank accounts. Emotional bankruptcy may result when you donít have a reserve in your bank. This could lead to someone becoming an emotional wreck if care is not taken.
Part of staying healthy in your relationship is to agree to the extent of what you are willing to give compared to what your partner is willing to give. For instance, you donít have to use your body to maintain a relationship. A lot of people feel dirty, guilty, abused and debased after getting sexually involved. That is not what they want to be doing but because their partner convinced them or even threatened the relationship, they give in.
Let me be quick to mention that you can be emotionally involved with someone and not be sexually involved. If you are married it is okay to be sexually intimate with your spouse. But for singles, moralizing or not, abstinence is the best policy.
I am convinced that a lot of the heartaches we go through in our relationships could be forestalled if we would do our home work and do it well. Some relationships in the first place are never meant to be.
Others go in without first realistically looking at their expectations. Many of the things we expect from our partners may come only from within us or from God. For example, you donít go into a relationship in order to be happy. You only can make yourself happy. In as much as we need others in our lives, our need for satisfaction should not be solely vested on others. You can be with someone and still be unhappy. You can be in a crowd and still feel lonely. Does it come to us as a surprise when we keep hearing about the way divorce is escalating?
To be emotionally committed to someone is to be vulnerable to that someone. But vulnerability is not stupidity. By being vulnerable, you are required to bring to the table all of whom you are and allow the other person to perform a surgery on you. It demands that you peel off your mask and be your true self not who you portray in public.
So before you decide to be involved with someone emotionally, you must be willing to take an honest look at the issues raised in this article, ascertain the level of commitment youíd feel not compelled to make, make a budget for the relationship, define your expectations and clarify grey areas beforehand. Itís expensive to keep this level of the relationship on its foot all of the times. However, the dividend it yields far outweighs all the turmoil you may be required to go through.
To be emotionally involved with someone could be the most scintillating experience the soul could be exposed to. It requires that you relate on a personally deep level than you would the average person you meet on the street. It entails you being brutally honest and vulnerable.
Getting emotionally involved means giving yourself wholly.
It also predisposes you to the possibility of being deeply hurt but it also carries with it the possibility of being loved in such a way that exposes the heart to raptures of love that words couldnít begin to describe.
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