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Fog
by Melanie Reed
10/30/13
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Fog- Just like my life!

I was forced as a child to go to church so my parents could get a break. I was depressed many years and couldn't wait to grow up and move out. When I graduated my mother moved me in with my boyfriend and I had to have the control/power that's all I knew. I used to find all the bad boys trying for whoever would love me because I haven't felt love for a very long time. 10 years ago I found a church I just knew I would instantally be fixed. God knew Id run before I ran and he kept people in my life to keep praying and now I gave my heart and soul over to Christ 9 weeks ago. The end of August I lost my job after 4 1/2 years but it was a blessing because I got to bond with my children, The end of septemember I lost my home because I had no money, and end of October I was on fire for God and was put in the hospital and now the end of October I lost my children. I will continue to thank God even in my mess because I know the bible states to FULLY TRUST AND OBEY!! Even though I want my children and so many churches let me down- they are not perfect. Ive never been so poor. I was making almost $12.00 a hour but I was not being the mother my kids need or deserve. I will celebrate 3 years sober from drugs/alchol this week. I don't know my purpose but I know God can do miracles and im hoping to be his miracle. I was a fighter at birth and still a fighter and I tend to hide my talents. This world is so full of sin and I hope with my story I can help someone feel loved. I was honored and blessed to help my daughter find Christ the day before I lost the kids. Let her see and feel God and I prayed over her. I was studying Nehemiah 5. Do your uncomfortable help the needy and realize are we helping the town we live in?? I was really getting into the bible and crying to my community and a homeless "Christian" cant be helped with the 6pm curfew. I got on my hands and knees at walmart and begged for God to help me find a home. You must be rich to find a 3 bedroom no wonder people rush into sin because you cant survive. Yes I admit I was a bit on the manic side but that's what I wanted to do then I was embarrassed. Out of nowhere rain happened like for less than 5 minutes it was Columbus Day it seemed different this year. I've been to many churches and I see why people leave. People are very money hungry, I hate money with a passion because money states "IN GOD WE TRUST" but people throw it away. I'd give every dime to God but I'm in debt and I owe everyone money and my credit isn't very good. My gift is compassion/servant... Im a CNA I love helping people it gives me joy and no amount of money can compare to a person lighting up when you walk into the room and glow ear to ear. Im very blessed and very broken. It doesn't matter if your 6 or 90 the number 1 verse still is JOHN 3:16 God loves us so much no matter what we do or have done he is COMPASSION AND LOVE. Im so thankful for who I am.

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