ďYou Canít Do ThatĒ is an awful phrase to hear your whole life. It can devastate your self-esteem and can mark you as a loser, forever. That was my life! I know that my parents didnít mean for it come out that way. It almost ruined me, because I truly began to believe it. I found myself believing the lie, that I was so weak because of the anemia. I talked in my previous article, ďGarbage Out-New Life InĒ about my anemia, and how weak I was. It was believed that I wouldnít be able to handle the strain or that others would not understand what was happening to me. I know my parents were only trying to protect me but it did cause me to look at everything through clouded glasses. I could see the opportunities and experiences I was missing. I was sad at first, but as the years rolled by, I was filled with regret, disappointment, and anger.
Remember Godís Word says: ďSo, my very dear friends, donít get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures. Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. Godís righteousness doesnít grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.Ē
Understand that this anemia was serious enough, that for my first year of life, I was isolated from others and had to receive iron shots every week. They didnít even think I would survive my first year. What I realized in my later years was the fear my parents dealt with, but it didnít help with my regrets. As I grew up, it seemed that something was changing but we couldnít trust that I really was getting better. I kept being told I was border-line, but what did that really mean? I donít think anyone really knew so my parents concern and fear continued.
I missed out on being a foreign exchange student, which I thought would have been a great experience. They were afraid that others would not understand what was happening to me, if the weakness raised its ugly head once again in some kind of flare up. Also, I had a chance to attend the Julliard School of Music with a scholarship, but again they were afraid that it would be too much for me. These constant NOís created great fear in me. I found myself afraid of everything. This was no way to live! But I did survive my parents over-protectiveness. I knew God was with me.
During all those years, in that weakened body, God was slowly working a miracle. He was healing the weakness. He was helping me to bloom and grow from a wimpy lifeless rose to a beautiful rose bush. Praise God, this problem no longer exists. God has completely healed me from anemia. No matter what the weakness may be in your life, God can heal you too. The miracle for me was that I didnít even have to ask. But God knew, and He had a plan for me and still does. I will always be His loving and grateful daughter. He saved me from a life of wretchedness. You need to praise God for your weaknesses, and then watch Him work.
PASSAGE: James 1:16-21 (The Message)
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