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What the cutting locust
left,
the swarming locust
has eaten.
[Joel 1:4]
****************************
"Why,
LORD?"
"Because,
My precious."
"What do You MEAN?"
"You must learn to listen,
My precious."
[PAUSE.]
"Because...
you live in a very warm climate."
"SO?
Big...DEAL!
You could'a PROTECTED me!"
"I did,
My precious."
"HOW?
A FIRE ANT bites my LEG...
and then skitters....well,
UPWARDS....
and crawls into my....eh,
BELLY BUTTON...
and bites me 3 TIMES?"
[SILENCE.]
"You didn't have to make that
DOCTOR in the ER so damn YOUNG,
and GORGEOUS, LORD! I was
so EMBARRASSED!*"
[NOD.]
"Not to MENTION all the
ANTIBIOTICS, and what they're
doin' to my STOMACH!"
[SOLEMN, SYMPATHETIC NOD.]
"So....
HOW could You say that
You PROTECTED....me,
LORD?"
[LONG, MEANINGFUL PAUSE.]
"Because,
My beloved."
[PAUSE.]
"It could have
been
worse."
***********************
What the swarming locust left,
the hopping locust
has eaten.
And
what the hopping locust left,
the destroying locust
has eaten.
[Joel 1:4]
Copyright 2013.
_____________________________
*Never pour four bottles
of Calamine Lotion into
your belly button: it doesn't
dry.....and, the scab turns
black, and has to be yanked off.
(Ouch.)
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