Whose Teaching Girls How To Be Women In 2013? A Look At The Teachings In Titus 2
by Kim Hubbard
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3 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not
slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— 4 that they
admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own
husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed
As I have watched the headlines involving young women in tragic
circumstances of the last several years and read the sobering statistics on
the number of unplanned pregnancies and teenage unwed mothers and
the horrific numbers of abortions in the United States alone, I have begun
asking questions as to what my part might be in changing these
situations, even if it is just for one young lady.
In my questioning, I often think of Titus 2: 3-4. In modern terms, we call it
mentoring, and sadly, at least in my observation, I am not seeing much of
this being carried out. I am in absolutely no way placing the blame for
these social problems on women. To do so would not be in accordance
with accurate biblical doctrine, because we know Satan is the root of all
evil and we are not fighting flesh and blood but spiritual forces... I am
merely noting my observations and seeking to make a difference and
share suggestions with others who might also be willing to do so.
What changed or did the older women really ever teach the younger
I am writing from the assumption that Paul uses the word “older” to mean
chronologically and in spiritual age. I am not of an age to remember when
women simply stayed home and raised children, but it was much less
common for women to work outside the home just a few decades ago. My
thoughts are that as more women had a need to enter the workforce there
simply was less time for all of her relationships, and so the mentoring Paul, in the book of Titus, exalts women to do (teaching the younger women) suffered also.
For some reason, society seems to be less about face to face genuine
relationships that take time to build and maintain, than in the past. It is
never too late to reverse these trends and hope that we can make a
difference and follow the instructions outlined in Titus.
Who mentors whom?
I think as women, we need to mentor girls/women whom we are more
(perhaps) mature in age than and whom we are certainly more mature than in our walk with Christ. I also think we should seek out those women who are more mature than we are to ask them to mentor us.
If a woman is desiring to mentor, her prayer should be to ask God to send
that girl/women into her life. YWCA, Pregnancy Resources Centers,
churches, Salvation Armies, etc. should have people on staff to assist the
mentor to find a women in need and match them up.
Elements imperative to mentoring
Mentors are not meant to replace or invade on the job of a mother. The
sad fact is that there are many moms who simply have no time for
teaching because they are too busy working to meet the immediate needs of their family for their mere survival. This includes single moms. For those who have time and do mentor their daughter, that is awesome but because Jesus talked about having less credibility in his home town with the people who were closest to Him
and to me that says that much of our teaching can come from non-related
women. The benefit of more than one Godly teacher can do no more than
help the learner. For those under the custody of parents, it stands to reason that parental consent for mentoring must precede any one-on-one
Prayer must be an ongoing part of the mentoring process.
Starting out slowly and developing trust is a huge component of the
mentoring process. Establishment and adherence to rules of
confidentiality that both women agree on is of extreme importance.
Exchanging contact information between the two women and agreeing to
be available for prayer and mutual support is a wonderful place to
start. Neither woman should feel guilty about the
establishment of boundaries for availability of either party and this is
actually a good teachable moment for learning to occur in the area of
A woman might not be ready to participate in a one-on-one
Bible study but her mentor might invite her to her home to try out a new recipe. During this time of relationship building, the mentor will
be teaching by example in her behavior and could mention her testimony
and perhaps share favorite scriptures.
If the mentored is more comfortable in a group Bible study, her mentor
might attend one with her or offer to watch her children while she attends.
In this article I have attempted to outline ideas for one-on-one
Mentoring, but I realize that all mentoring does not have to be done in
such a manner and below I am sharing some simple ideas for the
older women to teach the younger ones in the manner Paul tells
1. Encourage a women’s group at your local church. It should include Bible
Study, but this might also be a group that seeks to reach out to meet the needs
of the younger women by offering classes to the single moms or the young
moms/wives in the community. These classes might involve cooking, child
rearing, money saving tips, etc.. The goal of each class is for the older women to
establish relationships by role modeling Christ-like behavior and teaching the
women to be who God wants them to be in a relationship with Him.
2. Establishment of relationships between the teachers and the learners could
lead to deeper relationships and at some point could lead to other group
activities. One activity might be to allow everyone to write questions on papers
without their names on them and have willing members in the class suggest answers. The questions should relate to Biblical issues such as marriage,
homemaking and child rearing concerns. This gives the older women a chance
to share Godly lessons from a personal perspective and allows the younger
women to have input and realize that they are not the only ones having these
3.Establishment of relationships via social media between Godly women and
those they mentor can be a very convenient way of remembering
birthdays, sharing prayer needs and offering encouragement.
4. Perhaps an empty nest mother could offer to care for a younger mother’s
child while she has time to spend with her husband, another one of her children
or free time to get groceries, a haircut, etc.
I think Paul was inspired by God to give us, as women, these
instructions because he knew that someone was going to teach
girls and women about how to live their lives. If it were not for the
older women teaching the younger ones to live Godly lives then
the girls and women would learn from examples and teachers
who were not Godly. This would cause a ripple effect on women
who had not been taught or had Godly role models from one
generation to the next. My thought is that to a certain degree this
has happened and we are seeing the consequences on society as a
result. To that end, I encourage all women of God to take the time,
even if it is a sacrifice, to pray for, teach, and be that Godly role
model found in these passages of Titus.
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