It was past my “bed time” and my body was beyond the point of exhaustion. It wasn’t until my head actually hit the pillow that I noticed it. Exhaustion to the point where you feel like you want to cry, not just the common “wow, I’m tired” feeling. It was late, the kids had all finally drifted off to sleep, the lights were out and I just looked at the clock to tell myself how many hours of sleep I would get until the baby wakes up hungry before I plopped down. I almost turned my back to my husband and fell asleep on “my side” of our king size bed, but I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my ear “pray for your husband”.
I slivered myself over until I could feel his warm body against mine. I slowly began to touch his face and asked my heavenly father to bless my husband.
It had been a very long weekend that my husband and I spent about 200 miles away from each other that began on the same day that we received news that he had been laid off of work effective immediately.
I prayed with tears beginning to fill my eyes, I prayed until my chest began to burn with faith that the words I were speaking that he would be blessed were TRUE. Prayer that was initiated by the Holy Spirit and though I didn’t know what to say at a time like this, He was guiding me into a spiritual warfare bigger than myself. Prayer for unity in our marriage; that we would be drawn closer together. Prayer for wisdom as parents; that we would live in a way that our children would prosper and never leave God’s presence. Prayer that my husband would get THE CALL the next day with a job offer. Prayer that his heart’s desires will be filled. Prayer and prayer and prayer that SPECIFIC things would come to pass in our life, in our family, in our love. I prayed as though I believed God’s ear was completely focused on my requests.
In this time of walking by faith I am tempted by the enemy. My body begins to tell my mind that I cannot take any more. Thoughts of quitting because it is “easier” seem to be permissible. But “quitting” what??? I will never quit loving God. I cannot quit being called for greater things. What does “quit” even mean???
After praying for my husband the Holy Spirit told me to tell him how I feel. I cried. He prayed. He turned to me and held me in his arms and prayed that I would continue to fight, that I wouldn’t let the enemy win in my mind. I felt as though I was in a battle and my husband had wrapped me up in a blanket to comfort me and he fought the battle for me, in my place, running circles around me to fight the enemy that was attacking me in every direction. All I had to do was stay in his protection, in this comfort, in his arms. All I had to do was rest in his strength.
I don’t know what is going to happen. I do know that God is our provider and last night was a Spiritual Marker in my life. The Holy Spirit reminded me that my husband and I are ONE. We need to be united spiritually in our battles and not be quiet about the things that the enemy is throwing at us. Together we will finish this race.