I have proclaimed many times that Jesus died for my sin and that I am healed by the wounds that He carried for me on the cross. However, I had no idea what He went through for my sake. All the humility, the punishment, the wounds, it is humanly unthinkable all the things He suffered for me. No torture in this world can compare to it. I have always minimised it in my mind to try and understand His sufferings. I was wrong. It did not justify the glory that Jesus deserves for the unselfish act He did for me on the cross.
When I studied the crucifixion of Jesus again one evening, it touched me again in the deepest part of my being. The pain and beatings that Jesus suffered for me was indescribable. No human can survive that in your own strength. The beatings, the humiliation and the public spectacle that He was made, but the biggest of them all, the punishment that I deserve, He willingly took upon Himself, because He loved me. It is unbelievable, yet so amazing. Jesus had me on His mind when He took my punishment upon Himself. He had no hatred for man and the sins we committed, He only had pure love and forgiveness.
It is difficult to understand and accept that Jesus did all of that for me. Such love that One can have for me? The only place where that left me was to merely receive it, because if I was going to depend on my own understanding as to why Someone would do that for me, I would never have gotten to the point to accept Jesus as my Saviour. I can find no way to earn or deserve His love through my own human efforts. I could only receive my gift of love from Jesus. It was not my sin, but His love for me that pulled me towards Him. It created a need in me to be with Him and to receive everything that He has in store for me. I desired a personal relationship with Jesus. Therefore, I made a choice, to receive my salvation from Jesus and all the love He has for me, because I am nothing without Him. Jesus became nothing for me so that I can become something in Him.
When I consider every wound He suffered for me – for sickness, shortcomings, humility, insults, infirmities and everything that walks hand in hand with it, I realise even more how little I am and how big my God is. I have nothing less than a life of victory and abundance in Jesus. I can never think about the crucifixion again and take it for granted; its impact on my life is too big. His sacrifice was at such a great cost, all I can do is to be still and admire in gratefulness what He has done for me. His sacrifice is greater than what my mind can ever comprehend but my life is reaping the undeserved benefits every day. I am living the consequence of the ultimate act of love. A truth for every believer in Christ.
Jesus, all I can say is thank you! I did not deserve your suffering for me and I will never be able to repay you for that. Thank you for becoming the least on the cross for me in the eyes of the world so that I could become the most in You in the eyes of God. Now I can walk with You in Your glory. Help me to never take your crucifixion for granted, but to realise the unbelievable love and sacrifice You made for me. Thank you for Your love, because now I can love. I am absolutely nothing without you, but everything with You, Jesus, Thank you!