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Leaves are talking as the wind directs their song. Gliding on my swing, I wonder where I belong. Life is unkind, and not turning out as I thought. Was promised all new when my soul Jesus bought. I was told to believe and always trust in God. And I did, but all He said had turned to a grand facade. He told me He would take perfect care of me, If I promised to leave the worldís ways and let them be. So I did what He asked and stopped strong drinks and pills. Even gave up my obsession of searching ghostly thrills. So where has this taken me, this sacrifice so great? Well let me tell you that I was in a very fragile state. He told me to not worry and never give up hope. To keep trusting Him and He would help me to cope. I continued on, even when in secret I would cry. For I feel He is not helping and wonít answer me why. Yet I still seem to get up and give Him one more try. Wondering if His new promise is just a wishful lie. He tells me things of others and of the future He has planned. Some I can tell of but the rest to be buried in sand. Visions and dreams take me to places so unknown. At times it all makes me feel frightened and very alone. God says I must write and tell others what I see. But when I do, eyes of condemnation always glare back at me. Iíve been told I am crazy, and am in need of special help. Some think Iím so low Iím worse than back when I fell. What Jesus tells me, is so truly hard to believe. I search the Holy Word for it is the one and only key. Scripture Iím led to gives me a little hope inside. Until another person or spirit tells me itís nothing but a lie. By that I mean they tell me to not trust all that I hear, Even though His words are so biblically clear. I was lost and struggling with this life I now live. To understand and know The Truth, what I would not give. Am I crazy? Have I lost the girl Iíve always been? How can I go on this way, will it ever end? I ask for a sign to help with the doubt and to just live on. But nothing, is what I got, I felt all hope was now gone. Iím torn in two pieces, of the flesh and of Him, This hurts me so greatly, I want to return to sin. Life was easier back then, when I lived an ungodly way. I have never suffered so much, what else can I say. Another promise of help, as I hear again from above. And my hope rises once more, to see that Salvation Dove. But let down again for no answer to set this pain free. I feel He ignores me as usual, and I sit down and grieve. Finances are spiraling so fast I feel Iím in a spin. Canít buy food at times, when is it my turn to win? Dear Lord, can you hear me or do you even care? My God up above please help me if you dare. Iím loosing this fight and have no where to go. I fear that my life is falling to the dark depths below. Jesus, you once told me you were my friend for all time. Was that true, will you help me before I loose my mind? I gave you my life and lived only for you. When, dear Lord, will you make me brand new? And as I hang my head, I feel a touch upon my hair. A caress so soft and words from a voice so fair, ďMy child, I am your friend and will forever be. Do not loose hope and please trust in Me. I am here for you, in your heart is where I belong. You have obeyed and served and done nothing wrong. That promise you heard from my Father above. Is still to come with great wonders and love. I love you dearly and I always hear when you cry. I will even one day answer your question of why. Your time is coming, and soon you will be, The promise of blessing, of favor, and forever with Me.Ē And with that I raise my head and look up to Him, Swirling was inside my soul, my life was about to begin. Warmth of Holy arms took me in and held me close. Jesus is coming soon. When? No one really knows, One thing for sure, it is closer than a breath of air. Will you give your life to Jesus? Do you dare? I did, and it has been a whirlwind, like nothing known. But oh, how He has taught me things, how I have grown. I wont lie, itís been hard, a narrow path of many trials. But there is truth and humbling to all of my miles. He has taught me to have compassion for people in need. Through obedience Iíve learned to sew the smallest seed. I know of pain, and sickness, and desperation for a cure. My heart felt loneliness, abandonment too hard to endure Not long ago I had even reached a point so low, That a slit of the wrist seemed the best way to go. I have felt hope leave my soul and fear enter in. The helpless feelings of doubt when hours of tears begin. The Lord allowed this life I have been living. Little did I know at the time the miracle He was giving. A miracle of understanding, a miracle of His heartís ache So many people feel they deserve to just take and take. They look at one in need and blame them for their life. Claiming itís their own fault they live in a dreadful site. Just because they donít look as if something is wrong, Doesnít mean there isnít, silent pain could be their song. They may not have a dime left in their pocket to share, But give a testimony or just their time, because they care. Since my Father has sent me to His school of real life. I have changed, for the lesson was sharper than any knife. It was a scary thing, thinking God didnít hear my cry. I can assure you I was on the edge, I can not lie. But looking back, I wouldnít change a test or trial of mine. For it was Godís Way of teaching me to act as His Son. And with this lesson I can tell you, in Him I have won. So if you seek to live a life that God wishes you to live, To live His Way, your complete life you must give. Can you do this? His dedication is etched in stone. The prize is a life closer to Christ than ever known. Itís up to you, continue the walk your traveling today, Or let God show you the true humbling way. Donít be afraid to step out of that safe place. If I did it, you can too if you wanna Ďknowí Godís Way? Iíll leave you with this last thing, just as He told me, Let God teach you His Way, and Christ-like you will be. Are you willing to make that change, to step ahead? God gives a covenant unbroken, accept Him and be led. For the Promise of God holds His name, signed in Red.
By: Wendy L. Fox (0212013)
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