upon the throne,
"Do MY cats* come from.....DYNASTY?"
"I don't mean that TV show about
the Ducks, or that classier one with
but Ya know:
I mean.....REAL DYNASTY."
"You know: like from one of
those Egyptian cats from the
PHARAOHS, or somethin'."
maybe one 'a them was brought
to Europe, like contraband,
and their great-great-great-grandkitten
ended up on Columbus' ship, and
then HIS great-great-great-grandkitten
ended up in PHILADELPHIA,
somethin' like THAT."
"I was reading this article
about the Royal Family
on my cell phone."
Those folks are like.....real SNOOTS."
"Don't be an ugly American,
"Well........I'm NOT real GOOD lookin',
and I AM an AMERICAN!"
"Anyway.......like, they don't even
let anybody take PICTURES of them,
without their.....PERMISSION! Like......they're not even HUMAN!"
"Like......they don't even have to go to
the BATHROOM, or ever get a MOSQUITO bite**!"
"They do not live in the Southern
"They don't have MOSQUITOS.....
I'm glad I live in AMERICA!"
"I'm glad I'm an AMERICAN!
I come from PEASANT BLOOD!
And, I'm damn PROUD of it!"
"Oy vey z'mir."
"We don't BOW n' SCRAPE
"The thing is, LORD,
if all these COMMONERS bow
and scrape to THEM.....
then who do THEY bow....to?"
*All of the author's cats were
rescued strays. They are all royal.
** The author, at present, has
numerous South Texan mosquito
bites. They are driving her crazy.