Jesus,
I watch in silence as flesh is ripped from Your back.
Shame and horror grip me but I do not move.
My hands are frozen at my sides,
And my mouth does not obey me.
Oh Lord!
I know that I was there that day.
I release my false sense of self-righteousness,
And I admit it before all.
I was there.
I watched as You stumbled under the burden of the cross,
Of my sin.
I watched You drag it up the hill on Your wounded back.
I watched as cold metal spikes were driven mercilessly through Your hands and feet,
As the sky grew black.
I was there and I heard You speak.
In Your haze of agony you uttered words of love,
Begging Your Father to forgive those who were killing You,
Begging Him to forgive me!
You said: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
And as I heard,
I hated myself.
I hated that You were there,
Perfect,
Blameless,
Pure,
Dieing for me,
While I,
Standing beneath You,
Corrupt and unlovable,
Stood free.
I hated that even as I despised myself,
I rejoiced in Your death.
For I knew that You had set me free,
And I know it now too Lord,
I know it with all my heart.
I know that You took all my sin that day,
So that Your Father,
Our Father,
Could bear to look at me in my repulsive wickedness.
I know all of this without a doubt.
Yet still,
I cannot even serve You faithfully.a
My love for You is flawed,
Because I do not follow You.
And for this,
I hate myself,
Even as I rejoice in Your love.
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Awsome piece! Very powerfully written... In fact, your style reminded me of some of my poetry... maybe we should put a book together... haha. =D No, really it was amazing! I loved it, I felt it, because I was there, too. =) God Bless.
Wow Chelsea ... what a powerful piece of writing. Very good work. (By the way, welcome to FaithWriters). Absolutely no critique whatsoever regarding the format and the flow of your work. It was excellent. The only thing I picked up were two tiny typos. One was the word "dieing" should be "dying" and the other was a renegade "a" at the end of this sentence, "I cannot even serve You faithfully.a" All easily edited and certainly very, very minor. I'll look forward to reading more of your work as you share it with us. With love, Deb
