These are just some reflections on my life and what God has brought me through in my life, as I turn 30. Please note this is not intended to be a polished piece of writing. I was going to post it in Facebook, but decided it needed a more permanent home. Since I don't have a blog, I decided to post it here. :)
Since my 30th birthday was yesterday, I feel like this is a good time to reflect a bit. First of all, I'd like to say that I am so sad that my 30th birthday was marked with such destruction and tragedy in Oklahoma, and my thoughts and prayers are with ALL impacted, whether directly or indirectly.
I have been so blessed throughout my life and this past year. Yes, I have been through some hard times in my life, and also specifically in the past year. I certainly never expected to have to face what I've faced. But it amazes me to see where all of it has led.
As a Christian, I believe that all things do work together for good. I know it sounds cliché, but allow me to explain a bit. I believe all things work together for good in God's eyes. I also believe that still doesn't mean we, as fallen human beings, have to enjoy it or even like it! It doesn't mean that we will ever understand, and it doesn't mean that we will even agree with God that it was good. We may never understand God, and we won't always agree with Him, and I believe He understands that about us and accepts that.
However, in my own life, God has allowed me to see just a glimpse of that "good." It amazes me how God has orchestrated my life and caused things to fall into place. Had it not been for my struggles early in life, I might never have written the article that really got me started in writing. Had I not been "held back" one year in school by my parents because of those struggles, I may not have taken a certain course in college, and may never have been encouraged to write by that professor, though one little comment he made, not even directed to me.
I have not yet seen the "good" in having hip replacement surgery before I turned 30, and may never will... at least not to my own "satisfaction." But that's okay. One thing it has encouraged me to do though, is to do something I've wanted to do for awhile, yet have never actually taken the time to do... train for and walk a 5K. That is one of my next goals in life, and I don't know when it will happen.
Tonight I was listening to a live, on-line Andrew Peterson concert, and was struck by one of the lines in his song "Let Me Sing." It says:
Let me run the race with vigor,
Let me fight the fight with strength,
And let my song rise from a whisper to a scream.
"Run the race with vigor." Even though I will be walking and it may not be much of a race... that's what I want to do! Not only as I aim to complete a 5K, but in my life! I want to run with vigor, fight with strength and let my praise rise up to a scream. I have already decided that "Let Me Sing" will be my theme song as I train.
I am so thankful for my life. For the people God has brought into my life, for the JOY he has put in my life (some of you will get the more personal meaning to that), for all that He as brought me through, and for all I know He will bring me through in the future.
I will never fully understand all the "whys" in my life, but that's okay. God has given me a glimpse, and that is enough.
(There was more I wanted to say, and I had a few things worded better in my head at one point, but this will have to do, as those thoughts have fled. :))
2 Timothy 4:7 (NIV)
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
"Let Me Sing", Andrew Peterson, 2001
For more details on my "life story" which I alude to here, please read my article "Except God"