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Timeless Kid Comments, humor
by Robert Totman
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Log started on March 1, 2004

Beth is 5. Robby is 3.

Timeless kid comments.

*For the last two years Beth has been saying, “chothers,” for “each other.” She says how we love chothers sooo much.
*This morning, during prayer, Beth prayed for the baby to be blessed with ears and walking and “foreverness.”
*Robby says, “Thank You God for enjoying our life…and our ‘ood.’” (food) I think he is thanking God that we (his family) enjoy our lives.
*A week, or so, ago Robby said, “Dad, I have a head ache in my tummy.”
*Today Beth said, “Dad, did you have color when you were little?” I said, “Yes,” with a delightful smile. She said, “Well, mommy’s mommy and daddy were so poor that they didn’t have color so when we were babies mommy let us put color all over us…in our hair and everywhere.” (Finger paint?)
*Playing limbo. Robby touched the bar. Beth quickly told him that he was, “out satisfied.” (Disqualified)
*Beth’s bedtime prayers 3-2-04, “…and please don’t let the baby come out with defection.” (faith lesson ensued)
*Just too cute to omit. Robby has been saying for days, “I love you daddy, I love you with all my heart.” He’s been saying it out of nowhere/unsolicited. Thank You Holy Spirit.
*I was lying with Beth last night at bedtime. She said, “I love snuggling with you daddy…you’re so fluffy.” Then she asked, “Are you a vegetarian?” I said, “No.” She said, “Because you feel like a cloud that’s been eating cauliflower.” Come on summer!
*Today, before lunch, we asked God to bless our food. Beth said to God, “Please sacrifice the food.” She meant, “sanctify,” I think…or maybe she was thinking of the “fluffy” comment!
*We were on a nature trail today (Ft.Caroline National Park) when a green snake (2 feet long) crossed our trail. Minutes later we saw a large Moccasin sun bathing. As we walked further Beth had both of her hands in my left front pocket. She was snuggled right up next to me walking. I said, “There’s nothing to be frightened of baby. We are learning what to stay away from.” Her reply, “I’m not scared daddy, I’m just being exclusive.” (reclusive?)
*As we pulled into the driveway, after church, I grumbled about a hole I noticed in the yard. Robby’s reply “Must be goofers.” (gofers)
*Beth has been commenting about how pretty the “Dogbark” trees are. (Dogwood)
*Beth came downstairs dressed for school today (3-29-04). Mommy looked at her and said, “I’m sorry sweetheart, you can’t wear spaghetti straps to school.” Beth, perfectly serious, said, “These aren’t spaghetti straps, they’re lasagna straps.”
*At church, Sunday, Father Gary was talking to the children about baptism. Beth spoke right out, “Being babapitized means….”
*Robby is so cute. He says, “I won to tell you wumptin.” (that’s, “something”) He says it slowly.
*Robby was eating sliced carrots. They were sliced in circles (looked like coins). He kept asking what was in the middle of the slice. Finally, I said, “That’s the heart of the carrot son.” Without delay, and in a perfectly serious move, he put the carrot slice to his ear so he could listen to the heart. I had to make the thump noise for him, “Thump-thump, thump, thump-thump, thump…”
*I was asking God to bless Beth. She heard and said, "God has already blessed me daddy. He blessed me before I was born, when I was in Heaven, and He blessed me when He blessed you."
*I was complaining of back pain. Beth had me lay on the couch. She prepared a hot herb pack for my back. I was lying on it relaxing. She came to me and said, “Close your eyes.” I did. She placed a cold, wet hand towel on my face! This was supposed to help. I played along and said, “Ahhh,” as I was shocked. She said, “Just imagine a wonderful world where no one sins.” That comment really touched my heart…thank You God.
*Beth was telling someone about her new one-piece swimsuit. She said, “I got a new swim suit, it’s a wumpees!”
*Susan was eating crawfish. Beth said, “You like those because you’re from Suzyanna.”
*Beth was helping mommy with dishes. Beth asked mommy, “Is that a sofasponge?”
*Robby was laying his head on my chest. He lifted his head and said, “Your hay is getting in my nose.” (hair)
*As he took his diaper off today I thought he was going to say they are for babies. He pulled it off and said, “I not need diapers any more…they are for Grace, I’m savin’ um for Grace. I use the potty for pee-pee and poopy.”
*The comments go both ways. They came running to me, “Daddy, there’s a bug!!” I had them show me. They were just about to grab it. I said, “Oh no! Don’t mess with that one! That’s the worst kind.” They replied, “What kind is it daddy?” Trying to hold back my smile I said, “The kind that crawls.” I don’t know how to type the sound they made…their little tiny gasps of awe.
*I was getting much sugar from Robby, kissing his cheek over and over. He stiff-armed me and said, “Hey, Christmas is over.”
*Beth tries so hard that I am amazed at her effort to be good. She asked me once, a week ago, if betting was bad or good. I said bad. I’ve heard her correct her self a half a dozen times. For example, she starts a sentence, “I bet he would…I mean, I think he would…” I’m floored that she thinks about what is right and wrong so diligently. Thank You Jesus Christ for touching my family the way that You have…so much GRACE.
*Mommy, “We need some bread in this house. I’ll go out and get it myself and bring it back home…if I have to.” Beth, just as serious as can be, “Wow, you are so tough mommy.”
*The children and I were sitting in the car, sharing a “blizzard” (milk shake with peanut butter cup mixed in). It was storming out. A bolt of lightening struck near by. Robby says, “I heard white-in-ing!” Beth’s reply, “Yea, but it’s still yummy.” I just thought it was cute how focused she was. His phraseology was precious too.
*Beth said, “I can count to 130…by tens! It gets a little hard around the 20’s.”
*Beth was eating cream cheese icing for carrot cake. She said to Robby, “Mmmm, it’s ice cream.” He stuck his tongue out for a taste. Mommy placed a big scoop on it. He said, “MMMMmmm,” then abruptly contorted his face and changed to, “YUCK!”
*I was lying with Beth, trying to get her to sleep. She snuggled up to me real tight. After a few minutes of quiet she said softly, “I’ll never out grow this.” WOW.
*Beth asked if she could put Parmesan cheese on her spaghetti with, “supervised vision.” (supervision)
*Part of Beth’s rendition of the tongue twister “Peter Piper” went, “He peed and pawed and pecked a pepper…”
*Beth, “Daddy, do you think I might be the first woman to ever walk on the moon?” I was amazed as I wondered if a woman had ever done that. Then I said, “You might very well be sweetheart.”
*Beth, “Daddy, did you know that before I was a baby my spirit was in heaven with God and He gave me a touch of holiness that has been growing ever since?” WOW!
*I must comment that the comments I record are not ones that seem to originate from mommy or daddy. I realize that a lot of what children say comes from what they hear. I try to record comments that are original thoughts of my children.
*June 16, 2004, Out of the blue Beth said, “Daddy, I know God’s phone number.” I replied, “You do?” She said, “It’s being good because when we are being good we can call on God…I just made that up.” I was delighted. I could tell she saw the delight in my eyes when I told her how much I loved what she said. It was a wonderful moment.
*Robby said, “I wuv you daddy,” twice today. He said it in such a heartfelt tone. Both times were out of the blue and packed with emotion. So sweet.
*This morning Robby was telling me about a “hipp-miss-pon-o-miss.” Tonight I was trying to get him to say it again to mommy. I asked him if he knew what a “hippo” was. He said, “yea.” I asked him if he knew how to say it. He replied, “a hipphimponomiss.” Apparently, he’s created a new way to say it indicating gender!
*The children were giving me TLC. They were massaging my back when Beth said, “Let’s pork chop him” (karate chop).
*Robby said, “I see wumptin’ (“something”). I couldn’t resist, I had to subtly tease him as I asked, “Do you see “wumptin?” He replied, “Not wumptin’, WUMPTIN!” I had to wonder, “Does he hear himself differently than I do?!

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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