Grouchy Is as Grouchy Growls
by James Snyder
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Did you ever have a day when everything went so well that you could not believe you were awake? I have dreams of times when everything goes perfect. Then, I awake to the reality of the world around me. I guess everybody dreams of at least one perfect day.
Last week my dream came true… or almost.
For no apparent reason I awoke from sleep feeling quite happy. I had no explanation for this gigglely feeling of mine. I do not normally rouse myself from sleep with a chipper attitude. Just ask my wife. On second thought, don’t.
I just was in such a good mood that I broke out into song, which my wife threatened to end my life if I did not stop it immediately.
I did not try to psychoanalyze myself and think that perhaps this was the beginning of senility or something. I just accepted it as a great day to be alive.
One of my basic philosophies of life is, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth; after all, he might have bad breath.
This particular day nothing could bring me back to earth. I was all but literally dancing on the clouds and I cannot dance. But it was a good day to be alive and know it.
Very nonchalantly, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage addressed me in a rather semi-informal manner. “Would you run to the store and get me something?”
Being in such a high spirit, I sang my affirmative answer to her in spite of her glaring in my direction. I did not care. I would have jumped over the moon if she had asked at the time. Lucky for me, she did not ask.
I was in such a good mood that I thought a shopping trip would be okay. Let it be known that when it comes to shopping, shopping and me go together like peanut butter and lobster tail. It was such a wonderful day and I felt so terrific I agreed to go shopping for my wife. Not that I needed a new wife, the one I have is fine, thank you.
When I entered the store, I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. Being in such a great mood that I was in, I shook it off and rebuked it firmly.
In record time, I found the item my wife needed. Dancing and singing up the aisle, I went immediately to the checkout counter. When I got there, I found nobody there. On the counter was a bell and next to the bell, a sign that read, “Ring bell for cashier.”
Being in such a great mood, I rang the bell to the tune of the song I was singing at the time. After all, happy is as happy shares, and I had my share of happiness at the time.
Then I heard it.
“All right,” growling from the back of the store, “I heard ya. I’ll be there when I get there.”
If I would have stopped there, it might not have gotten out of hand. Being in the goosy-kind of mood I was in, I had to take it one step further. I stared at the bell until I could stare no more and then I broke out into song accompanied by the cashier’s bell. I wish you could have been there, it was spectacular.
“I heard you the first time,” the voice exploded from the back of the store. “I’ll get there when I get there and not a second sooner.”
I smiled to myself and reminded myself that nobody was going to spoil my mood of happiness today. Then I saw her stomping up the aisle towards the cashier counter where I was waiting. If looks could kill, and I am not so sure they can’t, I would have died on the spot.
I do not think steam was coming out her ears, but I am not absolutely sure about that. I know there was fire in her eyes, which were focused in my direction like a laser beam. When she got to the counter she growled, “Are you the one ringing the bell?”
With my finger on the bell, and nobody else in the store, it was hard to answer in the negative. In fact, it was hard for me to say anything while she was looking at me the way she was looking at me. She stared for a moment, at least it was something close to a stare that burrowed itself deep into my soul and that goosy-kind of feeling evaporated.
“It’s customers like you,” she snarled, “that makes my day terrible.”
She then looked at the one item I had laying on the counter for her to ring up. She looked at it, and then looked up at me and then looked back at the item on the counter.
Hissing like I have never heard hissing before, “Is this what you’re making all that racket about?”
Did you ever have a day when you felt like crawling into a groundhog hole and hiding until next February?
On my way home from the store I thought about what David said in Psalm 23. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me…”
I can endure anything and anybody as long as God is with me.
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