Have you ever had expectations of another person? Have you been disappointed that they didnít ever seem to meet those? Did you let them know the expectations? Well, even though the motive might be correct, this can actually cause many problems.
To the person that you have given the expectations to, this can appear to them very rigid or religious. First of all in our flesh dwells no good thing. For a person to be what we expect, asks them to change self, which they have no power to do. Did you know that no good thing cannot fix no good thing? It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to change us. If God is not choosing to change an area in a person then when we put this on them they will appear rebellious as they do not know how to change into what we want. There can be love from us and them but this will push a person away as they feel that they cannot measure up to our expectations. To us it looks like they are rebelling. When we are religious or rigid with a person and we do not allow them to be who they are until the Holy Spirit changes them will actually cause a person to run from us. I have learned that a religious spirit causes a person to run. This is not so much from us but it is the spirit that pushes them away. They do not want to be around this spirit. We end up feeling and being rejected. All we seem to see is that what we had for an expectation in our mind for the person and that it would be good for the person.
Accepting others and their faults, failures, and limitations is not always an easy thing for us to do. Yet, we must stop and realize that the Lord accepts and loves us unconditionally. He accepts and loves us with all of our faults. He knows when we are able to handle a change or a conviction to be different. He always does it in a way that we feel loved and realize that it is a good thing to be different in an area. We must give grace to others just as the Lord gives to us. God does not ask us to do something that He does not empower us to do. We would run from him every time if he was this hard task master and we knew we could never please or do what he wanted. Unless we can give a person the power to do and be what we want, we are causing them much heartache. Only God can give them this power, not us. The same grace that God gives to us we must learn to give to others. We must learn to love them where they are and not try to play God over them. Our job is to love people not change them in our strength. If we could just learn to focus more on bringing them into Godís presence then the person would change as the Holy Spirit wills.
I recently read an article from David Wilkerson. He talked about people trying to establish their own righteousness. He said that our righteousness is only by faith in Jesus Christ. He said that we cannot establish our own righteousness. All of our efforts will always fail. What he said is so true. Paul in the Bible made it pretty clear also. What he wanted to do, he didnít. What he didnít want to do, he did. He was telling us that it was not about him and what he wanted. He was powerless to change self. His efforts only left him disappointed. How else can God get the glory except he does the work? If we could do it we would not need Him. I donít know about you but I need Him constantly. I am only becoming who I am because of one thing: His Grace.
The Holy Spirit once told me that my job was not to fix others but to only bring them into His presence, and then He would fix or change what He wanted to do. When we try to play God over a person, we are being religious. The people see rigidity and religion instead of a heart of tenderness and love. Tenderness and love goes much further than does rigidity and demands.
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