Don't we all experience circumstances that evoke such questions from us?
One of my peeves, that brings the question to the forefront for me, is to order iced tea at a restaurant and request lemon for it and to be told that, "We are out of lemon." Or to order a soda with ice and be told, "We don't have ice, the ice machine is broken." The list of "We don't haves" is endless and my question always is, "Who manages this place?" Followed by, "The grocery store in the next block!"
More accurately the question should be, "Who pretends to manage this place?"
There must always be a manager for every Institution. Often the duties are so great that there are several managers who have specific areas to manage. Too often those managers do not communicate, or a few do their job well and there is a slack one; what chaos that brings to the institution!
Thank you Dr. Dwyer. You advised us to do it if it feels good; and of course the flip side is true also, if it doesn't feel good, don't do it. So we are stuck with a great number of our society that are non productive except for "laying their hands on what they want, and to h- e- double hockey sticks with you if you don't like it. Generally you don't like it because the "it" they lay their hands upon is yours and they disallow you even an opinion regarding "its" usage.
Those independent attitudes may even be somewhat alright if everything they did involved only them and they survived alone, but they don't because they can't. No, they can't; they must find a HOST, in the most literal terms. Just like everything that survives on the efforts of others. This is the nature of leaches.
The scenario is totally changed, and not one of leaching, even though several people are sharing common living quarters, and perhaps sharing all their resources with others, if only the understanding is that there is "a manager." The manager should be the one who provides the landing pad and therefore sets the rules of operation. Authority and Responsibility are Siamese Twins.
Today, with our broken monetary system and the lack of jobs many families are moving in together, and that is a fine thing. The thing that is not fine is that the movers-in often do not really care what the standards for operation for the house are, and that were in place before they arrived. The attitude is, "I am here and this is the way I do it."
That does not work well.
It isn't a matter of someone being better than the others, or even of every ones desires not being considered; it is that someone manages and sets some basic rules, being careful to not micro-manage but to leave areas for each person to have a level of autonomy.
Individual autonomy is achieved by several methods: one of them being that when the assigned and agreed upon work is completed by each person without being harassed, reminded, and dogged to get it done, then that person has used autonomy and is "in charge" of what they have completed. They are no longer a leach on the Host Group but are rather a contributor to the Group.
The individual or individuals who provide usage to the others of a roof, a bed, electricity, and all the other expenses that living involves, have the authority to set the rules and the movers-in really should care what the operational rules of the house are, and what they were before they moved in; if they don't there will be friction and eventual separation.
Unfortunately, too often, the person or persons moving in decide what they will do and how they will do it and tell the Host Provider by their actions to, "Shove it if you don't like it." "Don't try to boss me around!" "You can't tell me what to do!" Maybe the Host is just saying something like, "Please cover the greasy meats when you put them into the oven to bake, because I don't like to clean the oven every day. The dirty oven doesn't seem to concern you because you do not clean it." "Please work with me, this is important to me."
The oven is indeed the property of the Host and was under the Host's control with their preferences engaged before the late arriver came. The Host will be in charge of the ovens condition when the late arriver is gone, it was the standard operational procedure and should continue to be that currently for every user of the oven for as long as the Host is providing it. What is so hard about that conventional thought?
Our human ideation is that we control everything about our own lives and that we will do it our way. However, there must be some set and understood rules for every society no matter how large or how small the group may be.
Some of us have never found it necessary to live with other people because we have been the provider of our own house and living expenses. It must be very difficult for those who have found it necessary to live-in with others; they could however, show a sense of respect for the rules of the Provider Host, just like we really should have a respect for God's rules as we enjoy the provisions He has made for us in this Earth home in which we live.
That is not what happens as a rule; we decide what we will do and not do; what we like and do not like. We don't care how He has made a thing to function, we will handle it our way. We disregard His provision and in effect tell Him to butt out. Actually, most of us pretend to have no working idea what He wants and does not want because we refuse to read His Manual of Standards.
The truth is that He has written those Standards on our hearts and we do know. Paul says regarding this, "You are without excuse O man, whosoever you are, because you can see the works of God by those things which He has made." Also Adam and Eve bequeathed to us the Knowledge of Good and Evil which they chose, and so we have inherited that knowledge.
Psalms: "The Earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, (everything in it.)" That would include all we use while we live here, and even our own selves. Should not God Who gives us even the breath we breathe have a right to set the rules of the house by which and in which we live? All things are His to control, but He isn't a hard task-master, just a Manager of a sort, Who is trying to make things work for the good of all the dwellers in the house.
So why should He have His desires for a certain functioning of His possessions disregarded and smeared in His face, and the thing He has made and for which He provides to tell Him by word OR actions, "I really don't care what You want, I will do it my way!"?
Can you see that as in the case of a human communal group that those attitudes will bring eventual separation? In time it also does bring separation of us from the God of our existence and provision. God will not let us live in His Forever House called Heaven, if we are belligerently opposed to Him. That is why He threw Lucifer out of Heaven. All who embrace the attitude of Satan will forever live where Satan will forever live, in the Hell that God has prepared for Satan and the Angels that followed him. Satan and those angels must go there; there is no longer a choice for them, but you nor I have to ever go there, if we will respect God and follow His rules.
The first of His requirements or House Rules is, "You MUST be born again." That is what Jesus said, "So that you may enter the Kingdom of Heaven," He added.
A man named Nicodemus asked Jesus how that can happen and Jesus told him to believe on Him, (Jesus).
Jesus said that He was Himself the Savior that we need and the ONLY Way to come to God; the Scriptures tell us that we must tell God that we have chosen our own way and done our own way, even when we knew it was wrong. That is what is meant when we say, "I am a sinner."
Then we ask God to forgive us of doing those acts of wrong and to deliver us from the attitude of rebellion that resides in us. We then call upon Jesus and tell Him that we both believe that He exists and that He is alive right now. Jesus promises us that He will then give us Salvation and The Holy Spirit to live in our spirits; we then have salvation, and we have agreed with God that He is the Owner of the House. He will then share His House here and there with us forever and also provide for us forever.
A word of Wisdom: "Respect God and comply fully with His House Rules."
I think there is a lot more to understanding management than what you have covered here, but I like what you have said so far. I think you may like this site as it deals with the issue of management within Christianity in depth: