Having realized just how wayward I had gone in life,
I am now able to see that all my hardships, yes, you did
For I read:
"My child, don't ignore it when The Lord disciplines you,
and don't be discouraged when he corrects you.
For The Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes those he accepts as his children."
What a gentle God You are Father.
My heart heard, and You saved me from the brink of death.
For my actions, you allowed me to loose my home, my job,
and even people I love.
You left me with what I desired most.
It wasn't You!
Back then, just as now (but other reasons) I'm left with only my Bible.
Thank you for allowing me to have what I do.
I'm thankful, Father, for it all:)
O how, when I heard the truth of Your Word,
I was devastated.
I learned of my spiritual adultery which is just as bad as physical adultery.
My 'thought-life' led me into my spiritual adulterpassy.
When I learned all this, it didn't go right away.
Its taken 9 years of hard spiritual training to get where I am today.
I'm still not where I should be, but, I'm pushing forward.
If it is Your will, Father,
by the power of The Spirit of Christ,
When I'm faced with feelings of disappointment or dissatisfaction,
May the Spirit remind me where my affection rests.
And may those feelings pass quickly.
And may my affection for You never be diverted that I may continually be carried by You.
For my affection once used.to waiver from one onject or person to another.
I couldn't see I was committing spiritual adultery.
I went through a complete deterioration process.
I was caught up in a fantasy about what the new object or person I loved could do for me.
I created unrealistic expectations of the relationships I sought.
I found disappointment after disappointment.
Crying in the dirt on my knees is where this story found me:
Then The Lord said to me, "Go and get your wife again. Bring her back to you and love her, even though she loves adultery. For The Lord still loves Israel even though the people have turned to other gods, offering them choice gifts."
So I bought her back for 15 pieces of silver and about 5 bushels of barley and a measure of wine. Then I said to her, "You must live in my house for many days and stop your prostitution. During this time, you will not have sexual intercourse with anyone, not even me."
This illustrates that Israel will be a long time without a king or prince, and without sacrifices, temple, priests, or even idols! But afterward the people will return to The Lord their God and to David's descendant, their king. They will come trembling in awe to The Lord, and they well receive his good gifts in the last days.
WOW! In the last days. Jesus hadn't even come yet, and he was mentioned here.
And it was my discovery of being his child that had me crying out to him.
AND HE HEARD ME!
HERE IN THE LAST DAYS!
Your gentleness, Father, picked me up from the dust
I was brought to.
You helped me forgive myself.
If it is Your will, Father,
by the power of the spirit of Christ,
is this was meant to be heard, them may it be heard.
If I've presented scripture correctly in my testimony,
then let it be heard.
Our nation, Father, is at a fork in the road,
thank you for the mercy You've shown towards our spiritual adultery.
May You continue to shower us with it.
May the darkness now flee as You make Your presence known.
If it is Your will,
by the power of The Spirit of Christ keep me inside its shell
that I may be sure of myself and where You are leading me.
And may The Spirit keep me from unnecessary feelings of nervousness,
that I may coast along at Your speed, not mine.
And may The Spirit allow me to see the beauty in all of life around me each of my days.
And may The Spirit not allow me to become tied down in anything that isn't Your will for me.
May these same things be given to all of Your children, Father,
if it is Your will.
I ask these things in Jesus' name,
Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord, God Almighty,
Who was, and is, and is to come.
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