Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
People PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE AS A MEMBER OR ANONYMOUSLY
  SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
False Guilt and People Pleasing
by stephanie reck 
03/20/13
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





False Guilt and People Pleasing


Definition of false guilt: false guilt has nothing to do with what’s true and accurate, nor is it related to true repentance. Rather, it is usually the fear of disapproval. False guilt comes from a guilt-ridden conscience, which means that a person is incapable of self-acceptance and does not believe they are acceptable to others or God. People with false guilt feel their efforts are never really good enough.

Are you more concerned with what people want from you or what God wants from you? Do you have burdens and are overcome with guilt if you say, “No” to others request? If you answered yes to these questions, then you might be a people pleaser and not a God pleaser.

So why are we more concerned with pleasing people then God? We are afraid we might let them down, we are afraid they will be angry at us, we are afraid of disappointing people, we are concerned that we may look bad, and we are afraid if we don’t say “Yes” to others request then they might not get the help they need. Do we ever stop and ask God what He might want us to do? Usually we don’t, we go by our feelings and the feelings that others impose on us like guilt, manipulation and shame. If we do everything everybody wants us to do then we might lose out on the opportunities that God has for us. We are not called to “do” everything for everybody. Get to the “roots” of why you have to say “Yes” to everyone and everything.

There was a time in my life that if someone asked something of me even though I did not have the time, energy or peace about it, I would do it anyway. Why? Because I was afraid of letting others down; disappointing them. I was afraid if I said, “No,” they would get angry and stop talking to me. In reality, this has actually happened to me, I said “No” to some request of others only to be met with anger and shutting me out of their lives. I ask you today, does that sound like love or manipulation? If someone asks something of you and you say “No,” they in love should understand. It is really about boundaries. If you or other people lack boundaries then you are enmeshed with that other person, and their wants become your wants.

It is okay to set boundaries. You know what you can handle and what you cannot handle. You know your limits. Do not let others impose their limits and lack of boundaries upon you. It is okay to say “No.” I can say it will not always be easy but you cannot go around just doing what everybody else wants you to do.

When you say “No” do not be burdened by guilt. God gently corrects us but He does not pour guilt over us. How do you know you are under guilt? Do you hear thoughts like, “I should be doing this, I ought to be doing this, and I could do this?” If God’s peace is in something then you will be guided by a “flow” and you will not be bombarded by guilty thoughts. If God is in something, you will know; He will not make you feel bad about your decision. If you are supposed to do something, then God will let you know gently but He will not pour out guilt and condemnation.


www.christianhopecounseling.com

Copyright@2013, Hope Christian Ministry. All rights reserved.



If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by stephanie reck  or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 533 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
Anthony Green 20 Mar 2013
Good morning sister. Bravo. Very well said. Until recently I was too nice a guy and allowed people to walk all over me. This caused a lot of un-necessary stress and was an obstacle to developing my growth with Christ. Thankfully through counseling I have learned to set boundaries and how to deal with those described in 2 Timothy 3:2-5. My life is a lot less stressful and much more fulfilling in Jesus. God bless you.




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com