Part 1 ~ "A Love That Lasts"
“Sometimes the road to marital bliss can be hard. Statistics say that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Keeping your marriage commitment is not easy in today’s “look out for number one” world. Yet a good marriage and enduring love can be achieved. Find out how four couples…made it through the difficult struggles that came their way and how you also can have a marriage that lasts a lifetime.”—A Love That Lasts, RBC Ministries.
As part of our contribution to Marriage Week 2013, we recommended various DVDs, books and other marriage resources, to friends and relatives. Many marriages die a horrible death by divorce for lack of marrital investment. We have learnt the value of investing in our marriage and we want to share that with others so that they too can recognise the importance and start to invest in their marriage. Recognising and taking the relevant measures of investing in marriages will help to reduce the rate of divorce and create a healthier environment in our homes, places of fellowship, places of employment and within our social circles. We also recognise that each individual have different learning patterns and will therefore learn at different pace and through different medium. Some will read books and articles, others will watch movies, while others may prefer to listen to audio recordings. In our marriage, visual aid works best. Watching various DVDs have been beneficial in many ways and therefore, when we find one we approve of we share it with others.
In this article, we would like to recommend, ‘A Love That Lasts, Going the Distance in Marriage’, which is a DVD* by RBC Ministries. We believe that this documentary will help married couples to look at their marriage from the perspective of ‘…In sickness and in health’ by sharing the stories of four different couples. One of the couples in this DVD lived with a disability. The wife was the disabled partner. Analysing what her husband had to do for her from day one of their marriage, she says, “Romance say, ‘I Love you. I’ll do anything for you!’ But marriage say, ‘Okay, prove it!’” I never thought of it that way, but I believe she summed it up precisely. That is what we found out through our thirteen years of marriage. It is the very reason we chose to share our stories with others. Someone may get that understanding before they make that commitment, knowing that when they say “I do” it is a commitment they make to God and to each other, for life. They are vowing to honour God in their marriage; to stick with each other in the good times and in the bad times.
Romance, on the other hand, is about pleasure and more often than not, it is about one’s own personal pleasure. It is important to keep the romance alive in marriage. So guys, don’t stop buying her flowers or surprising her with a treat simply because you are now married to her. Ladies, still dress up for him and keep saying and doing those nice things to and for him and make him feel loved and appreciated. Romance is about feeling good; being on ‘cloud 9’. It is that place where we bask in the silence of a pleasurable moment. That’s it! Only for a moment but we need to have those moments throughout the marriage to keep it alive.
Unfortunately, romance on its own cannot sustain the marriage. We need to remind ourselves of the vows we made on our wedding day and remain committed to each other, to the marriage and to God. That will not just happen miraculously. It takes hard work to maintain a marriage. There will be sacrifices to make and one will have to give up one’s right for peace sake because marriage calls us to look out for the other person’s best interest, above our own. The bible encourages this behaviour as we read, from the King James Version, Ephesians 5:21-33:
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and is the saviour of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
If the husband therefore, is looking out for the interest of his wife and the wife is looking out for the husband’s interest, above her own, then both are being cared for as God intended it. That will keep the romance in the marriage and keep the marriage growing from strength to strength.
End of part 1: Please join us in parts 2 and 3 for “Teamwork and Conflict Resolution in Marriage”
Copyright Vince & Janice Ramkissoon, 2013.
*Notes___For information on how to get a copy of this DVD please contact ‘Day of Discovery or RBC Ministries, PO Box 1, Carnforth, Lancs, LA5 9ES, Tel: +44(0)15395 64149, Fax: +44(0)15395 64388, E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org, website: www.rbc.org.uk
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