The piano keys were cool to her touch as Amy’s fingers silently glided over them. Three years. It had been three years since she had last played in public.
Her hands trembled slightly; adrenalin kicking in. Amy flexed her hands, willing her nerves to calm down. She took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, and repeated the process. “I can do this because Jesus is my strength,” she whispered to herself.
As if in confirmation, she glanced up in time to receive a wink from Russ, the lead singer. She nodded back, the tension relaxing in her face. It’s not the same, she scolded herself. It’s not the same as before…
No, this time was different. Three years ago her musical career had disintegrated into nothing more than a series of demand performances. Oh, to be sure, she had enjoyed the celebrity status at first. Even to this day, she couldn't deny that being in the spotlight, hearing the applause, signing her autograph and getting mail from adoring fans had been exciting, even to the point of addictive.
Amy’s gaze returned to the black and white piano keys. It occurred to her that three years ago, her world could have been described as black and white – every day presenting itself in a rigid, orderly fashion. The private practices, the rehearsals with the group, the performances, had all been governed by a well-defined schedule. She had people keeping up with her who, what, when and where. Strangely enough, however, no one had kept up with the ‘why,’ – not even Amy.
The concert hall was almost full. Although Amy could hear the whispering and rustling of the crowd, the noise did not register in her mind. Instead, she kept reminding herself to trust God; He would not fail her. She studied her hands as they paused in mock formation of a C major chord. Yes, other people had failed her. She had failed herself. But God had never failed her, even when all she could see was evidence to the contrary. He had steadied her when exhaustion had consumed her. He had held her while she sobbed in her pillow at night, desperate for answers. He had talked to her when she finally began reading her Bible again and praying. Granted, He had been pretty tough on her at times, but always truthful, always fair; discipline tempered by grace. And in His perfect timing, God had opened the perfect door of opportunity and had invited her to walk through it.
She sensed the crowd’s attention drawn to center stage – Russ started playing the intro to the first song – an upbeat number that had the crowd on their feet before the first measure ended. Amy flexed her hands one more time and whispered, “Father, for Your glory,” before joining the rest of the band.
A smile broke across her face. She had finally found the “why.”