Faith
Searching with discernment
through the darkness that sweeps over like an unexpected storm.
It’s an almost silence
racing with jumbled up fragments of what should be and what is.
Saline flowing through the ridges between time and incompleteness,
drying upon my face leaving remnants of salt and sorrow.
I hear the rooster crow somewhere;
Somewhere close enough to send chills down my body,
and far enough to know it could be in my head.
Not three times, but more, I have subconsciously denied…
Peter was stronger than I.
Take up your cross;
I’ve lost track of mine.
I left it somewhere between pride and lust.
Longing for it, I go days building it back up with honesty,
only to once again leave it behind.
Yet, I’m there in a second harboring my insecurities in Your chest,
weak and weary needing a place to rest my mind,
hiding in your wing till my dirt feels clean,
denying my actions…
“It couldn’t have been me.”
Self control leaves when I ask her to,
and is at my mercy when I pray to You.
But I haven’t figured that out yet…
My thorn in my flesh.
Living upon quicksand, You’re my rock that holds me down.
Though, I’ve lied to You and myself more than I can count.
But I carry my alabaster jar everywhere I go;
Not full of fine perfume but my heart and my soul,
knowing when I pour it upon Your feet,
You welcome my humility…
and smile.
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Great poem, ToniAnn! Lots of emotion and inner turmoil reflected. I could relate to this one, as I'm sure all of us could to one degree or another in our struggles as Christians.
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