Overcoming Loneliness Part Two
by Curt Klingeman
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Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching (KJV).
As we previously discovered, the first key to overcoming loneliness is a right relationship with God, which includes intimacy with Him. If a person either fails to enter into that relationship or allows that relationship to diminish, he will be lonely. Until that breach is repaired, loneliness will not depart. A second key to overcoming loneliness may seem apparent, but requires a deeper understanding: fellowship with other believers. It is in our DNA and without it; this world can be a lonely place. People can gather in various settings (“going to church,” meeting for coffee or dinner, Bible studies, potlucks, etc.) but can still find their selves feeling lonely because they are missing a key ingredient of fellowship -love. This is perfect, God-like love (AGAPE). This kind takes joy in the recipient of one’s love, for the recipient’s sake alone. It is outward focused and has no “strings attached.” That means we are not looking for a return, much less do we demand it. It operates on a give and receive basis, not the give to get mentality that some hold to. If a person enters into a relationship with the purpose to fulfilling selfish desires, he will never be satisfied. In fact, he will be greatly disappointed with the results. It is pure greediness, which is never satisfied. Usually, people equate greed strictly to the love of money, but it goes beyond money. People can be greedy emotionally. They may want everyone’s attention while having no interest in reciprocating. “It is all about them!” We are designed to give love, without giving, there is no joy. Jesus put it this way, “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you” (John 15:9-12, KJV). Remember, joy vacates loneliness!
As long as a person continues to take love from another, he will never know the joy of love. If we receive love from another for their benefit, we will find joy in the receiving. That is to say, in order for someone to give to another, he has to have someone whom to give. By receiving, we give a place to deposit that love. This enables him to minister to another, which is a way to encourage. In essence, we receive love out of love. They are free to give, and we are free of covetousness. Galatians 6: 7-10 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith” (KJV). We are also told in 2Corinthians 9:6-7, “But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver” (KJV). When a person begins to sow into other peoples’ lives, he will discover a joy beyond anything he has ever experienced. Granted, when a person is hurting, it can be very difficult to be outward focused. It is easy to become “needy.” While it is important to receive ministry, it is equally important to allow the healing to take place, and get back into the game. That means when you are hurting, purpose not only to be healed, but also to move on. Sometimes our emotions need healing before we can help another. It is okay to receive ministry without ministering to another for a season. Sometimes people are in no position to reach out to others. However, another part of the process of healing and health is ministering to others as well -at the proper time.
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