by Curt Klingeman
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We were all created for relationship; not one of us was meant to be alone. When sin entered into the world, relationships began to break down, and loneliness entered in as well. The very first relationship to break down was the one between God and man. Every human being is born to have fellowship with God, but sin separated man from God, which left a God sized hole in everyone’s heart. Unless that breach between God and us was closed, we would ever be lonely, now and for all eternity. We would never know the Father and experience His love which is far beyond our comprehension. Remember, man created that breach, not God. Nevertheless, the Father sent His Son to close that breach to everyone who accepts His precious Gift. As so many love to quote, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16, KJV). Sin tainted our view of God, and for many, He is still some cosmic entity that has no interest in us, or is some angry tyrant waiting to punish us. Neither of these views is correct, along with the many various viewpoints that are contrary to His nature. In fact, as we read farther in John, we see that “God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17, KJV). To those of you who have do not have that relationship with Him, understand this, God made His decision: He wants you! However, He has left it up to you to decide whether to have a relationship with Him or not. As long as you reject Him, you will always be lonely. It will not matter what you do to fill that void; loneliness will always haunt you. No matter how many relationships you have with people, no matter how drunk you get or how stoned to cloud the senses, that void will always be there. Your first step to overcoming loneliness is having a relationship with God. It begins with repentance, which is to have a change of heart. This means that you turn away from your sin and turn to God, Who in turn will forgive you and receive you as you surrender to Jesus Christ. Instead of being an enemy of God, you can be His son or daughter. For a number of you, it means experiencing the love of a father for the first time. However, this love is of the Father Who expresses perfect love, for He is love. John 1:12-13 tells us, “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name: Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God” (KJV). It is the will of the Father to have a relationship with you. You do not have to be lonely!
Some might say, “Okay, I am a believer, and I still feel lonely. What about me?” One reason that believers are lonely is because either they have not developed an intimate relationship with the Father, or they have let that intimacy wane. Psalms 16:11 says, “In thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore” (KJV). When a believer is in the presence of God, he will experience the fullness of joy, which vacates loneliness. Unfortunately, some only run to God when they are in trouble, but they have not learned to commune with Him when everything is “as it should be.” Some people’s concept of communion with God is “going to church,” but that is not exactly Biblical. Our “going to church” should be the result our relationship with Him. In fact, everything we do should be as the result of our relationship with Him. Some put fellowship with other believers ahead of fellowship with the Lord. While we are supposed to fellowship with one another, that fellowship should never take the place of our fellowship with the Father. It is a matter putting First Love first. In some cases, a number of believers inadvertently replaced the relationship with church activity or ministry. It’s not that they do not love God, rather, their focus changed. As a result, they began to distance themselves from Him a little at a time. At some point, they began to experience loneliness. It is similar to being homesick when a person has been away from home for some time. He yearns to be home again, and to experience the warmth of his loved ones. Nothing else will satisfy the loneliness that gripped his heart like being home. That is why believers can be in the presence of other believers and still feel lonely, even when their relationship with them is close. Keep one thing in mind: how close our relationship is dependent on us. As it is commonly said, “You can be as close to God as you want to be.”
Another reason believers become lonely is discontentment. This is especially true of those who become more interested in the things of the world than the things of God. As soon as a believer shifts his attention back to the world, his heart will become cold. The more he chases the things of the world the more distant he will be from God. Ironically, even if he gains it all (status, money, and possessions), he will be lonelier than the one who never had a relationship with the Lord to begin with. The most miserable person on the planet is a “Christian” who has decided to live in the world. As the saying goes, “It’s lonely at the top.” When a believer becomes discontent, he will also begin to murmur and complain, which drives a deeper wedge between God and him, “But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6, KJV). Hebrews 13:5 also tells us, “Let your conversation (way or manner of living) be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (KJV). Maybe the things of the world is not exactly what you struggle with. Perhaps you are simply discontent with where the Lord has you right now. You have to remember that He loves you, and has your best interest at heart. Not only that, you are not home yet, you are just passing through this world. If you have fallen into the trap of discontentment, repent and return to your First Love. You do not have to be lonely; the Father has provided the Way back to Him. Do not forget the Prodigal Son found in Luke 15:11-13 (as a suggestion, read the entire chapter).
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