The doctor walked in and said, “Mrs. Wallace, you husband is gone. We did everything we could.” In my numbness, I managed to call the landlady. I barely uttered, “Take me home.”
We had planned to return to the Navajo Indian, our mission field. What could I do now? I thought. It will take months before I know the answer. As Jacob of old, I wrestled with my thoughts.
As I ponder on my experience, God reminds me of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Surely, as a missionary’s wife, I had learned to trust the Lord. He had supplied all our needs on the mission field. However, my faith faltered again.
I knew that my beloved walked the golden street and waited for me. God had made us one flesh. This ripped apart my being. In my hour of sorrow, God drew near to me. We shared a precious time of communion as I mourned. He gave me joy as I wept over my deep loss.
Mercifully, the Lord did not make me wait for an answer to what will I do now? He revealed to me how my days could be full in the midst of seeming tragedy. That week my brother-in-law’s pastor preached on writing. He described my shanty though he had never been there. I knew God was speaking to me. After my husband expired from a massive heart attack on June 22, 1987, I started writing for my Lord.
As I obeyed and wrote, I discovered a secret. Keeping busy helped me deal with my grief. However, I loved to write. If I wrote all my waking hours, I could not bear the ache in my heart. Now I discovered another secret. Time spent alone with God helps to heal the hurt. Only then can God use me to minister unto others.
Do you mourn over a deep loss? Did you lose your job? Have other trials come your way? God wants to give you joy in your pain as He did me.
Many of her articles and two of her curriculum packages found publication. Accent Publications bought In May 2008 Ambassador International published Lynn’s first book, Our Lifeship: Studies in Proverbs for Women. She wrote this book to help women with perplexing problems. She can be reached by her e-mail, firstname.lastname@example.org, or her website URL, www.writingfrommyheart.com.
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