As a child I was brutally assaulted at the age of four. I ran from my attacker but was overcome. I spent the next fifty some odd years of my life running and didn’t stop until I came to know Christ. Fear motivated me from that time on and I lived in survival mode.
Living in survival mode has its advantages. It hones your instincts so you know who to stay clear from. You develop an inherent judge of character of strangers, but it also attracts you to other people who live in fear. I spent my whole life looking for someone to make me feel safe, thinking that another human being could actually do that. The people I sought for safety were just as afraid of life as I was.
Survival mode makes you act on emotions. I never once felt I had a choice in my actions because I was being driven by feelings of fear and emotional pain. I have heard people say I made bad choices in my life, but if I never knew I had a choice, how could I make any?
When it came to living or dying however, my survival mode kicked in and I chose life. I chose Christ. At the moment when it came time to fight or run I chose to fight and I chose a five star general to lead me in the battle. Jesus came like the Savior He is and wrapped His arms around me, and for the first time in my life, I was safe. It was at that moment I knew Christ had been with me all along. In a lifetime of internal terror, He had carried me. In my life there had been but one set of footprints in the sand, and they were His.
I am still in survival mode today, but the fear and emotional pain has been replaced by a love I never knew was possible. The love of Jesus Christ. My life reflects that of the Twenty-third Psalm and I fear no evil, for He is with me.
I pray all who are living in the survival mode of fear will find Jesus today. Jesus knows your pain, and He knows your heart. He knows why you are running, and He is waiting for you to run to Him. He will lead you beside the calm, still waters and you will no longer be afraid of life. You are a survivor! God Bless!
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