Not so long ago, my god i did not know. fore,that's the reason he called upon me...when i hit an all time low.
His gift of rebirth that he blew into my spirit,is a blessing some will never know. I sometimes easily forget all gods blessings in my life.
that is until i hit an all time low, and need him once again. It's hard to have an illness, that you can not physically see. It quietly sneaks up on you and says "Ah Ha"...i found you. Your wide open, now what will you do? giving all your attention to others has once again caught up to you.
I soon lost all faith and my beautiful glow was now dull and dry like the sahara desert. Void of much life and without any color. The eyes that once brought smiles to all i encountered,once gleamed like wet diamonds near flickering candlight. Were now lackluster and dim. void of life, like nothing mattered. The windows to my soul, i wish no one could see. Now they drew smiles of false sympathy.
But, who cares, my self worth was only based on the smiles, from a man named "Joe"...i think he lives in ivory towers.
He would be my Superman and i his Lois Lane, my prescription for all that ails me.His love will never fail. I put on a fake smile and stifled my tears, as i listened to his endless gripes. Always, there to build him up and try to make it alright. Never, once did he ask,"are YOU alright".
I was now aware that my safety net was now full of gaping holes. I knew the net was defective but i could not take it back. Maybe, i can fix it just enough so it will work. But, the damage was beyond repair. I hoped my love was strong enough to save us as a pair. I filled my days with pleasing "Joe".I fixed my hair and put on a good front. Frequent trips to the bathroom, is where i dried my tears. Fore, "Joe" said, "depression was for the weak of mind,an just a way to get attention". That old feeling of hopelessness, was making me it mission. Yet, i knew inside that god knew all my fears and was counting every tear. Even though, i had not read "The Good Book"...for well over a year. I was busy with an idol by the name of "Joe". I had enough and waved the white flag...it was time for me too surender. I could no longer feed a parasite that was living off my soul. On bended knees i prayed to my god to bless me with the strength i need to find
myself again. Shielded by gods love for me,i rid my life of the man name "Joe". The scotch guarded couch named, "no desire" was discarded long ago and replaced with bright red furniture i now call "burning desire". I sleep easy at night with gods soft words, whispering softly in my ears. Your name is etched in the palm of my hand,my child. Do not base your self worth on the empty words of idols. Know in your heart when i made you in my image...only i can fufill all your desires. My undying love for you is stronger then no other.Your heartache and pain shall pass. Know, to seek solace in me always,and i will give you love that last. I'm not your average "joe" my child, you must never put me last.
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