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All Purpose
by clarissa aguilera
10/24/12
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One cup is all you need this detergent is all powerful it has the power to remove all stains with just one cup it powers out even the toughest stains in the heart, such as sin. That causes a black, dingy, film that grows in the heart, which is sin build up. Turning the heart completely black through the years of neglect, rejection, loneliness, and abandonment. The most toughest of all sin is depression and unforgiveness. But this is an all purpose most powerful detergent today. With one cup not only will it leave you feeling refreshed in spirit but glowing and full of joy. Happiness will shine through you, you will be a breath of fresh air. With only one cup it is capable of removing even the lightest, medium and heaviest loads we carry. burden's, such as anger, pride, malice, greed, sloth, gluttony and even lust. It even tackles the bitterness of unforgiveness and nothing is more powerful to even get through the most difficult hate stain of all. This one cup of detergent has tiny crystals that loosen the holy spirit to soften, cleans and purify the heart. Allowing you to be more gentle and to shine, to feel more confident about yourself and looking your best, bright beautiful and radiant. Guaranteed, with just one cup. copyright 10/22/12 www.Clarissaaguilera70x7.weebly.com



If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
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Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom  25 Oct 2012
This is a nice story. It sounds like you wrote it for this week's challenge with the topic being cup. If I were to go over the judges criteria for each of the categories, these are my thoughts about how well you met that particular criterion. The first one is how well do this fit the topic? Now if the topic was indeed cup, then you certainly had that criterion covered. I also thought it was quite creative. It made me feel like I was watching an old commercial about the best thing the world has ever been offered. The third criterion is how well-crafted is this piece. On that one, your story could use a bit of polishing. No big deal but more little things like: The first sentence is quite long and I'd suggest cutting it down into at least three shorter ones so as to not overwhelm the reader. Also a few commas and hyphens would help with the flow. I've added some in this sentence to show you what I mean: This is an all-purpose, most-powerful detergent today. The nest two criteria are a good beginning and a satisfying end. You did make me smile with your beginning as it took me back many years to a simpler time. The ending brought the story full-circle which is always a good thing. Though it still needs a bit of polishing, I thought it a fresh idea with a wonderful message. Keep writing those words that Jesus puts on your heart. :)
Joanne Sher  24 Oct 2012
Very creative piece! And so true. Thanks for sharing!




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