“Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her, so he will have no lack of gain.” Prov. 31:10,11
Trust in a marriage is what holds the bond of covenant together. It’s not the marriage license. It’s not the ring, the kids or even the law. It’s the power of covenant that is built on mutual trust and loyalty to one another.
A wise woman builds up her house. She fosters an environment in the home that makes for peace, love and respect. She demonstrates respect and honor towards her husband which nurtures trust and encourages communication.A foolish woman tears down her house by sowing seeds of destruction. You might think, "What woman would dare do that?" Yet, it can be easier than you might think. Every time you give your mouth over to gossip or slander, you sow seeds of discord, and those seeds will reap a harvest at some point in the future. Every time you share the weaknesses of your spouse with your friends, you sow seeds of disloyalty and distrust. When a wife uncovers the sins of her husband and willingly ruins his reputation to others, those are actions of a traitor. Love covers a multitude of sins. Treacherous actions such as these will undermines a man's ability to effectively lead his household, and it makes room for anger and strife. Every time you judge relationships of others or gossip about them, you plant seeds of judgement that can boomerang back into your own life. No one can plant these kinds of toxic seeds and have the heart of her husband safely trust her. He sees this lack of character and integrity. It may take a long time, but whatever you plant in your garden will grow. Plant wisely. Plants seeds of faith. Faith treats others as though they are already the finished work of Christ, walking in that transformed character. Faith believes that what is unseen will come forth, and love never fails. Build others up by sowing seeds of positive affirmation, honest communication, love and demonstrating good character.
It takes faith to trust in the Lord and do things His way, but the strength of any marriage is dependent upon the weakest place where the two are joined together. If trust is broken or shaky, the marriage lacks strength. It’s like a shaky leg on a table; if trust is broken you don’t have a leg to stand on. Trust is the very foundation of covenant. This is true whether it is in a marriage between a man and a woman, or the relationship between ourselves and God. Obedience to the law alone does not put us in covenant. Anyone can have a contract that states they are “married,” but if the heart is not in the marriage, then it lacks the very elements of love, respect, honor and loyalty upon which covenant is made.
Real strength in a marriage is built by trust and truth. The enemy will bring a variety of temptations to either spouse but it’s important to keep in mind that often it’s not so much about the actual “temptation” to do the wrong thing as it is about secretly working to destroy the foundation of trust between two people in a covenant relationship. When trust is eroded, offense is created and all things become suspect. Satan’s temptations are to undermine that loyalty, trust, and mutual submission one to another. Loyalty is the bond by which the covenant is held together.
The power of two in agreement is something the enemy absolutely hates, because he knows the multiplied power it brings into a couple’s prayers. When God finds two in agreement with His will, nothing can stop the prayer from coming to pass. That is why the enemy tries very hard to undermine trust and loyalty; without it, prayers lack strength.
It was the witness of ‘two’ or more in the Old Testament that testified to guilt or innocence in legal proceedings (Deut. 19:15);
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labor and can withstand an enemy (Eccl. 4:9-12);
Where two or three are gathered in the name of Jesus, He is there, and He has said “Again, I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.” (Matt. 18:20)
God made marriage to take two individuals and bind them so tightly to each other that they actually become “one.”
Commitment to being a woman of virtue is not an easy thing. There are many challenges along the way. But the rewards are worth it. The Bible gives each person a responsibility in marriage. Read 1 Peter 3:1-12. Again go back and re-read the portion of scripture in Prov.31:10 & 11. There is a promise there. When the heart of a husband safely trusts his wife, he will have no lack of gain.
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