Desiree logged out her computer, ending her work week. And starting her weekend. She was very tired but knew a few shots of tequila would perk her up and get her started for her night. It’s not like the actual work week stopped the party anyway. Tuesday, it was the weekly get together at her house, Thursday it was Ladies Night at the bar, tonight it was a theme party for all the girls. She wasn’t really looking forward to it. She preferred sleep, but there was no rest for the weary in her life. It was part of her alternate universe. The one her family, church and blood, knew nothing about. She had to get out of Desiree mode soon, and get into Desire mode.
Desire, the nickname she chose for herself when she and John started a Yahoo group for parties. Everyone had an alias online. Probably 5 of the 100+ people she was partied with knew her real name. That one group turned into 10 groups she was now in, including the one that was hosting the party tonight. She slowly walked to the parking garage almost awed at the difference of her day and night life. By day she was a mom, wife, daughter, and sometimes Christian. By night she was one of the most popular women in the lifestyle scene. She threw many parties, frequented countless bars, was invited to a host of parties, including those for bi women.
Now Desiree didn’t consider herself to be bi. Oh no, she knew it was wrong. It said so in Romans 1:26 ~for even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature~. Which the Lord said was “vile”. But John got a taste of that life, the 3somes and didn’t show signs of backing out. So for now, it was her life. It had its fun moments. She had to be drunk to enjoy them. But a wife’s work is never done.
Her phone rang her out of her reverie. She looked at the screen and smiled, her longtime friend Evelyn.
“Heeeey mamacita, what’s going on”! She exclaimed. They didn’t talk as much when she married John. Her life was just so different now. She definitely couldn’t invite Eve to hang with her and these people. She wouldn’t fit in.
Eve clucked her tongue, “De, girl I am ok. Just wondering why you haven’t called me back….and that was 3 days ago”. Here comes the excuses, Eve thought.
“I forgot, shit…I mean, shoot. I have so much on my plate, work, the hubby”, instant guilt warming Desiree’s face. She didn’t forget, she just doesn’t have much to say that isn’t about drinking, partying and sex anymore.
“Uh huh, that’s cool. Well don’t forget that you promised to help out with the brunch tomorrow for Women’s Day at church”.
Desiree sat at the red light silently cursing herself out for making that promise. That brunch was at 10am and when she hit the streets the party isn’t over until 5 or 6am. What was she thinking?
“Is that tomorrow, “the twinge of annoyance in her voice, more at herself than Eve.
Eve sighed. “Yes, Desiree. It is tomorrow and you know it. You’re going to back out again”?
Desiree paused. Was that almost an invitation to do so? But guilt weighed on her. God was a God of promise. And promise is something He holds dear. She could at least do something for others than herself. Her mom would also be happy to see her.
“No, I’m in. Sorry. That’s 10, right”?
Desiree couldn’t see the huge smile Eve had plastered on her face.
“Yep, 10. I know it’s a little early but you already know how good you’re going to feel once it’s all over; to serve other women and hear a good word. I can’t wait to see you. It’s been like a month!! We will catch up tomorrow. Bye babe”. Eve did an excited jig. She missed her friend and any opportunity to see her and see for a fact she is doing ok was a blessing.
Oh well, Desiree thought, maybe I will come in at 3am instead.
Oh Lord, the police was coming but Desiree couldn’t get out the mud. It was so thick. Holding her back. Her heart pumped as the sirens got louder. They would arrest her for indecent exposure if she didn’t get out of this. She was half naked in this naughty bunny suit in the middle of nowhere at night. The thought of her parents coming to get her from the police station dressed like that mortified her. Oh no, they’re closer. Please help somebody, anybody…..please! Unk Unk Unk Unk Unk….
Desiree sat up startled at the shrilling. She was at home, half in bed, head banging and her alarm ringing.
Oh my God, she sighed, relieved, turned the alarm off and flopped back down. Then she immediately sat back up, alert and looked at the time.
Oh yeah, the brunch. The only reason she set her alarm. Otherwise she would sleep until 1pm.
She looked around her room, not remembering
getting there, much less, home. All she remembered were all the women, in different Alice in Wonderland costumes, dancing, drinking, hugging, laughing, kissing and in some bedrooms……she closed her eyes at the thought. Trying to remember if she was part of the feast in any of the smorgasbords in the rooms.
All she remembered was kissing some chick. With tongue. Her face flushed warm. She felt instant condemnation. Everytime! Everytime she did anything like that she felt darker inside. That’s why she stayed away from church. They would know! She felt she even looked different. Like SIN. And she was supposed to walk up in church today? It’s going to catch on fire….or bounce me out of there, she thought.
She shook her head, looked up sadly and whispered quietly, “I’m a mess”.
Thirty minutes later she was dressed in something more moderate than what she passed out in and ran out the door.
At the church Eve was helping to set up with the 1st Lady. She love working besides the quiet, yet fire spirit woman of God. She asked her for advice many of times and always walked away like she received some gems to carry with her. She was very close to her. It helped the 1st Lady was also her aunt, but that was beside the point.
1st Lady smiled at the apparent happiness on Evelyn’s face.
“Are you that excited about Women’s Day or is there another reason you’re grinning”? She asked.
“Oh”, Eve giggled and attempted sucking her jaws in.
“Well I’m also excited about Desiree coming to help. I miss that girl. Never get to see her”.
“Married life does that to you. You end up just becoming a part of that world and forget those around you. But you always come back to your best friend. You’ll see”, she hugged her niece, whom she loved dearly.
But what 1st Lady didn’t want to tell her niece was that she has heard some things about Desiree that bothered her spirit and heart. She has shared these fears with her husband, the Pastor. To which he had her keep in mind all is hearsay until confirmation from the person. Today may be that day of confirmation or denial. But it couldn’t be ignored. Not her soul.
If she was doing what she thought, there was a much needed interference needed.
Born and raised on the South side of Chicago and mother of a beautiful son, Delilah has been writing since she was 10 years old. A quiet child, books took her out of herself and let her imagination run free. Deciding she wanted to create that same space for another person, she began writing stories on her own and let her friends and family enjoy them.
Life and the issues that come with being an adult took her away from her craft for years. Now 37, engaged to a wonderful man and a woman of God, peace has found her……and that life gave her new stories to share. Stories of this world and the struggles many people encounter. Delilah decided to use her gift from God to tell the world of His goodness and mercy and how with Him, we can be saved from these troubles.
Stories of heartache, tears, pain, trials, hope, inspiration, peace and happiness………………..and a laugh or two.
Delilah R. Bailey 2012