I know it can be tuff sometimes living for God. Life has its toll when you don't expect it. Just remember keep looking forward to the rewards God has for you,when you get to heaven. God has a seat with your name on it. Don't you want to see loved ones who have gone to heaven. Won't you love just being able to say that you to Jesus for all he has done for you.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW
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