Kids & Parenting
Everybody Needs A Mom
by Dinora Garza
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I realize that mothers are not one of the most valued assets of America. We have been constantly devalued in movies and TV shows. The role of a dedicated mother has been mocked, ridiculed and despised in many different ways since the women’s liberation movement became popular. Nevertheless, the presence of a mother in the family is essential, even crucial for the happiness of her children.
This blog post is about moms, real moms. The kind of mom that cooks you your favorite breakfast in the morning and hears all the details of your new video game at 11:00 pm. I’d like to also talk about those moms that without the help of a husband, have raised kids far superior than those with both parents at home, the kind of moms that have learned the importance of being there for their children when they get home from school.
I recently watched a television show named “Chopped” in which several chefs were put to the test of cooking 3 dishes in just a few minutes using the most outrageous ingredients. One of the chefs, a young woman, probably about twenty-five or twenty-six years old, was asked about her reason to compete. This is what she answered: “I have never been very family oriented. I grew up with my mom and brother and was always told by my brother that my ideas were stupid. So, I decided that if I wanted to improve my self-esteem, I needed to win this contest.” After this young woman told a little bit about how she decided to become a chef, one of the judges asked her: do you think your mom is proud of you? The contestant, visibly shocked answered with tears in her eyes: “I don’t know”.
How important it is for a person of any age to know that her mother is proud of him or her. It is so important that the thought of not being valuable to your mother can make you feel miserable. So important is the love, acceptance and encouragement of a mother to their children.
My son has a friend. This boy is quiet and respectful but he has a problem of low self-esteem as well. As I questioned my son about the reasons for that, he related a very sad story about his friend: “My friend eats the same food every day”, he said (ramen soup, if I recall correctly). Every single day of his life he goes home after school only to find an empty home (because Mom is working to improve her own self-esteem) and not finding anything else, he feeds on junky ramen soup. No wonder he feels and acts as he does; a timid, spiritless, poor teenager. What a shame! He could be a happy, satisfied, confident teenager if he had the fortune to have a mom that cares.
How is it to come home from school feeling discouraged and be welcomed with a huge hug, a kiss and a wonderful meal? It is like being in heaven.
How is it to talk to someone who really loves you and cares about you and above everything else really listens to you? Great!
That is what being a mom is about; it is about tears and about joy, it is about understanding and advice and scolding when you have lost your way.
It is about forgiveness and unconditional love.
It is about company and about respect. Being a mom is all that and much more. Unfortunately, nowadays the majority of children and teenagers don’t have the fortune of having a mom. Yes, they have biological mothers but they are too busy building up their own selfish lives (usually) while their kids are starving for food, company and affection.
I once knew a young mother whose two girls yearned for her attention and love while she was studying all day to become a teacher. She wanted to “make a difference in the lives of children”, she told me. How absurd it is to try to save others’ children while you have abandoned your own! It is true that some working moms don’t fit in this category. They are a different story, one of sacrifice and multitasking between being a mom and a father at the same time and working at home and on the job. To those moms goes my utmost respect.
One of those amazing women is Rachel. She was abandoned by her husband after having 4 children. I know 3 of them. One of them in particular is a surprisingly impressive man. He is an honest, kind, respectful, hardworking young man, with a profound conviction and fear of the Lord. I asked Rachel how she did it. How did she raise 4 kids without a father with such amazing results? She said “I had to be a mother and a father for them. It was not easy and sometimes I didn’t know what to do, but the Lord was with me.” That is the power of a mother who cares to raise up her children to be the best: happy, honest, God-fearing children. How amazing is that?
We cannot emphasize enough the importance of the mother in a family. Our mother’s love is like a shield from the disappointments and challenges that life has in store for us. Our mother’s love is the most comfortable place to go when you feel weary or discouraged. Sitting by your mother’s side and feeling her soft touch on your head is better than any yoga and meditation class put together; it makes you feel everything will be all right.
I feel for those whose mothers have parted already, but even more for those whose mothers are too busy to be there for them. It shouldn’t be like this. God didn’t intend for mothers to be away from their children during the most pivotal time of their lives.
Do you have a mother? I am glad for you. Go tell her how much she means to you. If you are a mom whose life does not reflect the love of the Lord, I encourage you to start over and put yourself under the guidance of God. Ask Him to make you the mom He wants you to be, so you can see your children flourish and be happy, and productive. It is never too late. For advice, encouragement, or if you would like me to pray for you, you can leave your comments at the bottom of this post, or write to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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